Flourishing in Your Mental Health, Pt. 01

[00:00:02] Hey Better Days Family, welcome to Better Days podcast season 9.

[00:00:07] This season of the Better Days podcast we're going to talk about different aspects of mental health and suffering.

[00:00:13] Throughout these episodes, we're gonna lay a theological framework for each topic, flesh out misunderstandings that we sometimes hold and

[00:00:21] offer practical advice and tips to help you along in your journey through mental health and suffering.

[00:00:28] We're gonna be joined by various friends that I'm so glad are

[00:00:32] sharing their expertise and advice on these important and valuable conversations.

[00:00:38] If you're new to Better Days, we're a non-profit seeking to bring hope awareness and education to all things mental health and suffering.

[00:00:45] We help churches, people and leaders understand the intersection between mental health and suffering and following Jesus.

[00:00:53] For more content from Better Days or to support our work check out our website BetterDaysFMLY.CO

[00:01:01] Let's jump into this week's episode.

[00:01:04] Better Days podcast welcome to season 9.

[00:01:08] I'm Wesley Towne founder of Better Days and I'm here with two of my close friends and

[00:01:14] contributors to Better Days, all things Better Days, but particularly our podcast Jason Kane,

[00:01:21] pastor, double masters, masters in theology,

[00:01:25] masters in clinical mental health counseling. Did I get that right? I think that's right. That's right. And then Dr. Stephanie Kane,

[00:01:34] therapist and also professor of counseling and psychology. Tell us about the work that you do. Yeah,

[00:01:41] really enjoy the work that I do. I work with adults primarily, my private practice and

[00:01:46] experiencing all kinds of mental health issues and I specialize in trauma.

[00:01:50] And during season 9, first of all, these two will be with us for all of season 9.

[00:01:56] I'd like to flesh out some misunderstandings that Christians have often around mental health and suffering

[00:02:02] and the intersection between those subjects and following Jesus.

[00:02:06] We're going to enter into episode 1 today talking about how do we flourish in our mental health?

[00:02:12] I think there's two sides of mental health. One side of mental health is cultivating our mental health

[00:02:16] and that's the flourishing side. That's a side that we often don't focus on because so many people are suffering.

[00:02:24] We have challenges with our mental health, that's side 2,

[00:02:27] and oftentimes we're focused on what are those challenges? How do we walk through those challenges?

[00:02:32] How do we understand the challenges of mental health? But it's interesting that the first two chapters of the book of Genesis,

[00:02:40] God lays out the question, what does it mean to be human?

[00:02:44] And essentially undergirding the question, what does it mean to be human is

[00:02:50] all of the facets of life that God created so that we can flourish.

[00:02:55] How do we flourish? How do we flourish in the Garden of Eden? We know that we don't exist in that sphere of perfection

[00:03:02] where there's no sin, no pain, no suffering, no grief, no loss.

[00:03:07] But how do we take those aspects that God created for human flourishing in all of our lives

[00:03:13] and begin to intentionally cultivate that as followers of Jesus? So basically,

[00:03:18] as I studied the first two chapters of the book of Genesis, I found seven aspects of what it means to be human and flourish

[00:03:27] as a follower of Jesus or just a human being created by God. And here are the seven aspects.

[00:03:34] We were creating the image of God, which is baseline foundational layer of what it means to be human.

[00:03:40] In Genesis 1, 26 and 27, God says, let us make man male and female in our image

[00:03:47] according to our likeness. Secondly, we were created with a body and a soul.

[00:03:53] Those are two aspects of being human that are so vital to understand so that we can flourish.

[00:03:59] That's in Genesis chapter 2, verse 7. We'll talk a little bit about that as we flesh these out.

[00:04:05] Fourth, we were created to be relational with one another, to have human relationships without human

[00:04:12] relationships as we know in our current cultural context with so much loneliness you can flourish.

[00:04:19] Fifth, we're created to have a relationship with God, which is the foundation of everything else

[00:04:25] in thriving and flourishing as a human. Sixth, we were created to work. That's in Genesis 1 and 2.

[00:04:33] We're created to have purpose, to engage, to cultivate and produce good in this world.

[00:04:39] And then finally, we were created to rest. We were created not just to produce and have

[00:04:44] output, but we were created to celebrate and reflect and have input in our life as well.

[00:04:53] So I thought in episode 1, we could take each of those facets of human flourishing

[00:04:58] and flesh them out and have a conversation about them. I think the first one is so important,

[00:05:04] that each of us, every human that has ever lived, is created in the image and likeness of God.

[00:05:11] And a lot of us would say, well, what does it mean to be created in the image of God?

[00:05:15] What does it mean to have the Amago Deo in each one of us?

[00:05:20] It means that you and I are created like God, but we're not God. We reflect the nature of God.

[00:05:28] We represent God. So there's a part of this that is purpose-oriented,

[00:05:35] and there's a part of this that is character-oriented. We have been created like God,

[00:05:41] but we're not God. But I think understanding the nature of God is so important to understanding

[00:05:48] what it means to be created in the image of God. If God is love, we have this deep yearning to love

[00:05:53] and be loved. If God has authority and influence, a lot of us want to have influence in this world,

[00:06:01] but if we want to have influence, we want to have influence like God to do good.

[00:06:06] If God is just, then we long for justice, so on and so forth. And I think you could go down

[00:06:12] all the layers of the character, the nature, the perfections of God, and you realize all of that

[00:06:18] in partial ways, because we're not completely God, right? All of that in partial ways is a part of

[00:06:26] all human beings. We are creating the image of God. And that also means that we have immense

[00:06:32] value and purpose. Every single one of us, because we have the fingerprints of God all

[00:06:38] over us, as his design was to create us in this way, we have immense value and purpose.

[00:06:44] So I'd love to have a discussion about this. When you think about the image of God in the

[00:06:50] context of human flourishing, what are your thoughts? Yeah, I think with so many people

[00:06:54] kind of floundering around in life trying to figure out what they're supposed to do,

[00:06:58] one of the things that they can do is look to Scripture and look to God and

[00:07:01] figure out the things that God does and how do we best emulate those things. One of our

[00:07:06] goals as a Christian is to be like Jesus. And I think the more we know about Jesus,

[00:07:10] the more we can behave and be like him. And so knowing that we have the image of God stamped on

[00:07:15] our hearts, our efforts or our pursuits in life should be to do what the things that Jesus did,

[00:07:21] to bring life, to bring his kingdom to earth. And when you do that, when you have purpose

[00:07:25] and meaning, it helps with your mental health. I think it's foundational to making sure that

[00:07:29] your mental health is strong. What I love about this particular episode is we're doing what

[00:07:33] Frederick Douglass talked about. He said, it's easier to build strong children than it is to

[00:07:37] repair broken men. And what he's saying in that is he's making the point that if we are able to

[00:07:43] look at mental health as something that we proactively pursue, then when we have the

[00:07:47] moments in life where we can have difficulty and trial, when we have to do repair,

[00:07:51] it's a lot easier when we have a foundation to stand on. And I believe knowing that we

[00:07:55] are made an image of God is a great foundation to stand on as we try to flourish in life and

[00:08:00] have strong mental health. I think in those moments when we struggle in our mental health,

[00:08:05] it's when we're hit with the reality of our limitations. It's that gap between we are

[00:08:11] inspired by God, we are stamped by God, but we are not God. And at that moment,

[00:08:16] it becomes distressing when we realize we don't necessarily have the capacity to hold

[00:08:22] all of the things that happen in life, all of the complications and complex issues that come

[00:08:28] up. And at that time, it just we start realizing our limits. But this is when we get that we have

[00:08:35] the opportunity to flourish and recognizing that God has given us a roadmap like what you said earlier.

[00:08:41] It gives us this guide of what we can do, what we can lean on in order to help carry us through

[00:08:50] that part, that part where God in his wisdom, like I know that you guys are going to struggle

[00:08:55] and it's really going to knock you off your feet when you realize you're not me.

[00:08:59] But I've given you the tools you need to get you through those moments,

[00:09:03] and I've given you each other in that. That's such a helpful observation around the image of God

[00:09:08] because when you think about the image of God, we often don't think of limitations.

[00:09:13] But limitations is built in because think about the nature of God. God is all powerful,

[00:09:18] we're not. Right. We have power, but we're not all powerful. God is all knowing,

[00:09:23] He knows all things, but we only have limited knowledge. So I think the limitation aspect is so

[00:09:30] valuable to understand. And secondly, something you said, Jason, I think the identity piece,

[00:09:36] like becoming like Jesus, we have a crisis on so many levels of identity. People are asking

[00:09:41] themselves, who am I? That is a question for our time. Who am I? And I think when you realize

[00:09:49] I am someone that is created in the image of likeness of God, it gives you a road to travel down.

[00:09:58] It gives you a puzzle to put together, so to speak, where you realize that my life now

[00:10:05] is lived into becoming like Jesus. I have limitations. I'm not fully like Jesus,

[00:10:12] right? But I'm becoming like Jesus, a person of love, a person of kindness,

[00:10:16] a person of goodness, a person of positive influence. So I think that identity piece is

[00:10:21] really, really important. Second, I really appreciate thinking about this and I know you

[00:10:27] guys are going to have incredible insight. You and I and all human beings are created with

[00:10:33] a body and a soul. But let's start with the body. In Genesis 2 verse 7,

[00:10:39] God creates the first human out of the dust of the ground. And I think that's

[00:10:43] representational of the physical, material aspect of being human. And our bodies are really,

[00:10:51] really important when it comes to flourishing in our mental health, but also just flourishing

[00:10:56] as a follower of Jesus. I think for so long in Christianity there was such a focus on your

[00:11:02] soul, like just pray and you know read your Bible. And this is the most important things

[00:11:07] to be a follower of Jesus. You want to flourish, but what about the stewardship of the physical,

[00:11:13] material part of being human? This is essential for spiritual, mental, emotional, and relational

[00:11:21] flourishing. Stephanie, what are your thoughts when you think about the body and aspects of

[00:11:26] human flourishing? When I hear about that, I get goosebumps because I've seen it in the

[00:11:30] own work that I've done over the years in mental health. It's been transformational

[00:11:34] in the healing journey that people go through when they recognize how their body is responding to them

[00:11:42] in different situations. The body is an alert system. It lets you know when something is wrong,

[00:11:49] when something is wrong physically, but also when there's something wrong emotionally and when

[00:11:52] something is right. When there's peace and calmness there to let you know, hey, you're

[00:11:56] doing this the right way. It's astounding how oftentimes we're so distracted by busyness

[00:12:02] that we block out what our bodies are trying to show us. And so in the work that I do, I spend a lot

[00:12:10] of time with people helping them have a relationship with their bodies to be more aware of what does

[00:12:16] it mean when I have a heaviness in my chest? What does it mean when I start feeling my hands

[00:12:23] are getting fidgety or my legs are shaking? Oftentimes these things could be happening

[00:12:27] and we don't even realize that it's happening. But when we attune to that and we become aware

[00:12:32] of how our bodies are communicating with us, then at that point it gives us a lot of information about

[00:12:38] the meaning that we're making out of the situations that we're in. Oh, I'm feeling a heaviness in my

[00:12:43] chest. That means I'm starting to feel really angry. Oh, okay. What am I angry about? It's a way to

[00:12:51] be more curious internally and more self-reflective about what's happening rather than just

[00:12:57] operating, responding to our environments. So valuable. Yeah. As Steph said, it's much of an

[00:13:03] alert system. Recently I've realized how much of a connection there is between the body and the brain

[00:13:09] or your physical and your mental. And I have some friends that were going through a stressful time

[00:13:14] and the husband developed a rash because of what he was experiencing and doctors couldn't figure

[00:13:18] out why. And then he had this stressful situation in his life that kind of went away

[00:13:23] and immediately when it went away, the rash went away as well. And so the body definitely alerts us

[00:13:27] to what's happening on a mental scale. And I think paying attention to what is happening in our body,

[00:13:33] paying attention to our gut. Like there's a big tie between how your gut feels and anxiety as well

[00:13:40] and paying attention to those things and asking yourself, okay, what is my body telling me

[00:13:44] will help you to flourish because you'll know I might need to make some changes physically

[00:13:48] in order to strengthen my mental health. Yeah. So an awareness of what's going on in our body.

[00:13:54] And the communication cues that we need to start picking up on and becoming intelligent about

[00:14:01] in our own body that can help us understand what's happening inside of us. And I think this is so

[00:14:06] important because we're talking about the soul as well, but these are interconnected.

[00:14:10] Like no part of us, God didn't create us as segmented. He created us as integrated.

[00:14:15] So you have all these facets of what it means to be human. And there is complexity in it, right?

[00:14:20] It takes a lifetime to become aware of how to flourish or to understand the cues and the

[00:14:25] communication that's going on inside of us, whether that's soul or body. But I think another

[00:14:30] aspect, so awareness is so important. Another aspect is I think in the Genesis story, there's

[00:14:36] three core tenets of stewardship of our body. One is movement. God places Adam and Eve in

[00:14:44] the garden and He puts them to work. They're moving, they're engaging. Moving our body is so

[00:14:52] important. All of this neuroscience is coming out around exercise, movement, and we all exercise.

[00:14:59] And this is important for our own stewardship. Jason, you're exercising like five, six days a

[00:15:04] week now, right? Yeah. It's a new thing for me. Yeah. Tell us what you do. Yeah. I mean, so

[00:15:09] I'm turning 40 this year and there's nothing like turning 40 to make you realize,

[00:15:14] okay, I need to make some changes in my life and talk to my friend who is a personal trainer

[00:15:17] and asking him like, what do I need to do? He's like, man, every day you need to move your body

[00:15:20] and you don't have to do anything, you know, outlandish. You don't have to do crossfit. You

[00:15:24] don't have to rent a marathon. You just need to move your body for 30 minutes a day. So,

[00:15:28] you know, recently joined the gym, had my son that engages in it with me and there are

[00:15:33] multiple benefits that I've seen to just moving your body on a daily basis

[00:15:37] and making those small changes has definitely had an effect on my mental health. You feel

[00:15:41] better about yourself. I'm a golfer, I enjoy golfing rather than riding in a cart, a walk

[00:15:46] and just these small changes I've seen, you know, benefits to my mental health already,

[00:15:50] but also in addition to my physical health as well. It's been astounding to me to see how

[00:15:55] people are able to move emotions around the body. The more work that I do in mental

[00:16:00] health, the more that I am in awe of God's design and just how even in designing our

[00:16:07] bodies, the psychological implications of our body's responses, emotions show up in our bodies

[00:16:15] and we can actually have movements. Our bodies are actually telling us how to move to move

[00:16:20] those emotions out. For example, I'll work with clients who are struggling with anxiety,

[00:16:25] anxiety is gripping them. They notice it's showing up on their legs or legs are fidgeting.

[00:16:30] We do some sort of deep meditative mindfulness technique in session that has them focusing

[00:16:37] on their legs, scanning their body. And what they notice is that their body's telling them to do

[00:16:43] something stand up and stretch. They get up and they do that movement and all of a sudden the

[00:16:47] anxiety is released from their body. That is the Lord's design of saying I have given you

[00:16:54] everything you need to help you to move emotions in and out of your bodies. Emotions

[00:17:01] will show up and you're not necessarily choosing them, but your body can help you to move

[00:17:07] them out. But you have to have a healthy relationship with your body. You have to take good care of your

[00:17:11] body when you are disconnected from your body, when you're poisoning your body, maybe you're

[00:17:16] turning to things that numb you out substances or activities that numb you out. Then you have

[00:17:25] a disconnection with your body and you're not able to notice these healing strategies that

[00:17:30] can help you to just deal with whatever difficult situation you're in. That's so,

[00:17:36] so valuable to understand. I think getting below the surface of understanding the human body

[00:17:45] is so important. Movement, gut-brain connection. So I think movement is really important and

[00:17:51] I'm a naturally anxious person. I've started with anxiety for as long as I can remember

[00:17:57] and working out four or five days a week, I do CrossFit, I run has been life changing for me

[00:18:04] with my anxiety. And what you said is so valuable. Sometimes when we move, we're able to move those

[00:18:12] emotions through like you're processing them and then get to the other side where we feel well

[00:18:17] again. So I think movement is so important. I think secondly, God created us for movement,

[00:18:23] but also to eat. He put them in the garden full of nutrients and plants. I'm a vegan,

[00:18:31] so I'm just preparing for eternity when we're going to eat lots of plants again.

[00:18:36] Hey, if we only get to stay here, I want to get as much of it as I can.

[00:18:40] So there's nutrients in the garden and that was a part of their flourishing in their body.

[00:18:46] What we eat, the gut-brain connection that you mentioned is such a huge conversation around

[00:18:53] mental health. The food that we put in our body plays an influential role in the neurochemical

[00:19:00] communication in our brain and what takes place in our brain. Mood, it can alter our mood,

[00:19:05] it obviously affects us as human beings on so many levels but it can affect

[00:19:11] how we feel on a day-to-day basis which then can turn into feeling downcast or depression

[00:19:19] or what have you. So I think food is really important. And I know you did some research

[00:19:25] study in this as well, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.

[00:19:28] Yeah, just how food, the nutrients from food can contribute to the brain health

[00:19:32] and even starting your day out with higher protein, higher greens, starting your day

[00:19:38] out nutritionally actually helps regulate your mood and your capacity to handle stress

[00:19:43] throughout the day versus starting your morning with a sugary substance. Even a cereal,

[00:19:48] you may think, oh, I'm having granola but that could be packed with sugar.

[00:19:52] That ends up causing your blood sugar level to rise, it impacts your mood, you end up

[00:19:56] starting to lose energy a lot sooner. It's harder for you to focus. So you can make decisions

[00:20:03] and I think what happens is a lot of times things happen and you feel you've lost control

[00:20:08] and it's like it's hard to make decisions but there are actual little decisions starting

[00:20:14] with movement. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to grab peanut butter and an

[00:20:17] apple this morning instead of a pop tart or something. Doing that can actually make a huge

[00:20:25] impact on your day so you can start out making small significant decisions that will carry you

[00:20:30] through the day. I do feel like, I feel a birding, I don't know how this fits into this but in

[00:20:35] recognizing that everyone does not have the luxury and the privilege of being able to access

[00:20:42] nutritious food. Great point. I don't necessarily have a solution for that but I just feel like

[00:20:47] it's important to acknowledge that everyone is not able to just go and get organic food which

[00:20:53] is highly expensive or has the space to grow a garden or things like that. And so I just

[00:21:00] kind of just want to say to those people that I'm sorry, that we live in a world where you may

[00:21:07] have the will and the desire to pursue these types of strategies but it's hard to actually

[00:21:14] access those resources to do that. Yeah and another element also acknowledging some people

[00:21:21] listening to have a healthy relationship with food. Sometimes we have an unhealthy relationship

[00:21:28] with food and I think understanding that food is there to cause us to flourish, to provide

[00:21:36] nutrients to our body. Would you just talk about for a second what would you say to somebody

[00:21:42] that's listening that says, oh I know this is important but I've had a long-term unhealthy

[00:21:47] relationship with food in my body? Yeah there's been people use various coping strategies for

[00:21:53] surviving and some of those coping strategies don't serve as well but they feel in the moment

[00:21:57] like they do. So control a desire to have control in your life. Food is a way that

[00:22:02] some people have used for the purpose of control whether it is denying themselves food

[00:22:08] by way of not having enough nutrients really restricting themselves and what they're putting

[00:22:13] into their bodies or leaning into anything that they can fill their bodies into,

[00:22:18] fill an emptiness that they're feeling psychologically. And so I think the first

[00:22:22] thing is always going back to self-awareness being aware of why am I eating this way?

[00:22:28] Why are these my eating habits? How are they serving me and are they serving me in a beneficial

[00:22:34] way or are they actually hurting me in the long term? Maybe they get me through the moment

[00:22:39] but long term they're actually causing more problems for me and then getting help for that

[00:22:45] that's not something that's always easy to do on your own and thankfully there's a lot of people

[00:22:50] out there who are trained in that area there's a lot of great reading material in that area to

[00:22:55] help guide you in replacing that with some healthy coping mechanisms and there's

[00:23:01] some strategies to start building a healthier relationship with food. It's a process over time

[00:23:06] it's not an overnight thing it starts with a mindset change and it's difficult it is so

[00:23:13] hard to do because it was it's a coping strategy it's a survival so when you eliminate

[00:23:19] whether it's healthy for you or not a survival mechanism for you it can take you

[00:23:23] place into a further distress so I just want to acknowledge that I recognize how hard that can

[00:23:28] be and that it's a long-term process for people but taking these small steps towards building

[00:23:34] a healthier relationship with food is so essential. Yeah and then on a friendship level like I'm trying

[00:23:39] to be an influencer in Jason's life and I try to get him to juice vegetables with a juicer at home

[00:23:48] and tell us about the experience. The problem is the cleaning the juicer is worse than just

[00:23:53] drinking the soap. Yeah the cleaning the juicer is a whole lot but I do you know the thing

[00:23:58] about working out is I'm like I'm not going to waste my workout by eating the Snickers after

[00:24:01] I'm not going to waste my workout by eating unhealthy so if I go work out it helps me eat

[00:24:06] just in a more healthy way I still can't put away candy I'll eat a handful of you can put away

[00:24:11] candy no I'll eat a handful of sour candy right before I go to bed and it gives me the most

[00:24:14] chewing candy with like a sugar high the best dreams you will ever have in your life

[00:24:19] you can fall asleep I'm no nutritionist but hey at four in the morning we're like an hour

[00:24:26] he's got disturbed sleep that's not disturbed so Dr. Kane this is what not to do do not to do

[00:24:32] but you can do it and somehow it works for me you'll show you our dental bill till yeah yeah

[00:24:37] hey my my dental bill has been great since I moved here I yeah I juice but I'm trying to get this

[00:24:43] guy to juice please do we need to do it just the cleaning man but he doesn't like the cleaning

[00:24:48] so so one day he's like hey take me 10 minutes to clean my juicer so I said okay

[00:24:53] I'm gonna juice right now and I'm gonna time myself how long it takes me to clean my juicer so I'm

[00:24:58] done juicing I turned on the timer it took me like 74 seconds to clean my juicer you have a

[00:25:04] you have a $3,000 juicer I screenshot it said we need your juicer no it was only like 159

[00:25:11] I've had for like eight ten years so so body we're getting through a number of these so you

[00:25:18] have movement which is really important you have food and then I think the third part that

[00:25:23] God created the Garden of Eden is sleep yeah it's a daily Sabbath yeah like we sleep some people

[00:25:30] like we grew up in the hustle culture it's like you know work work work accomplish accomplish

[00:25:35] accomplish do do do you know climb up the ladder and what happened with the hustle culture is

[00:25:42] they didn't sleep we all got burned out yeah like burnout sweeping across our nation and western

[00:25:49] culture because the hustle culture and then we're on the other side of that we realize oh sleep is

[00:25:54] really important sleep is repair for the body essentially you mean you were talking about a

[00:25:58] podcast we listened to I think LeBron was on there or something about how much he sleeps what

[00:26:03] was the the number it was like 12 hours a day something like 12 hours a day which is incredible

[00:26:08] that anybody can sleep that amount right scoring 25 points exactly yeah so he there's something to

[00:26:15] sleep but sleep is significant as you mentioned it's a daily Sabbath it's an opportunity literally

[00:26:19] for your brain and your body to do repair in the older I get the more significant sleep gets in my

[00:26:24] life and you want to develop healthy sleep patterns you might be trying to figure out man

[00:26:28] why am I so cranky or why am I so anxious and it may be a direct tie right back to your sleep

[00:26:33] so begin to observe like how many hours of sleep am I getting a night there are great

[00:26:37] books on sleep I think Ariana Huffington has a book about sleep there's a lot of

[00:26:43] neuroscientists that have books about the importance of sleep and how it can significantly

[00:26:49] significantly improve performance in life if you're able to get an adequate amount of sleep

[00:26:55] now many people having insomnia or may deal with some other sleep issues but in a general

[00:27:01] way if you are able to do things to make sure you get that six to eight hours of sleep

[00:27:05] a night man it's a superpower to be able to sleep well I think the update stats are seven to nine

[00:27:11] yeah so attack on another hour yeah and don't feel guilty about it like we all us three

[00:27:19] we are self-motivated driven people and I've noticed with self-motivated driven people

[00:27:25] they feel like they're being lazy if they take seven to nine hours of sleep well the thing is

[00:27:31] sometimes I think a lack of sleep or some people just aren't tired but you want to work yourself

[00:27:37] hard enough in a day where you're so tired you have to go to sleep right and so I think

[00:27:44] hard work can help lead to better sleep because you're exhausted and don't see sleep as

[00:27:50] being you know a bad thing or I'm being lazy like it's necessary I take a nap almost every

[00:27:54] day from five to six o'clock let's go yeah I say now I'm refreshed and then I'm back in bed by 9 30

[00:28:00] and I don't you know I just think sleep is a blessing but I'm up early as well yeah he followed our

[00:28:05] toddlers when we had toddlers their sleep schedule yeah they grew out of it but he kept he kept it

[00:28:10] okay kept it up I love that yeah that's so good is there a time that people should go to bed

[00:28:16] circadian rhythm all that stuff it's a matter of the duration of sleep that you have because

[00:28:23] people operate in different schedules so they're not always going to fit that time

[00:28:27] that impact when I talk about circadian rhythm I'm talking about the internal system in the body

[00:28:30] that helps your body you know it's time to go to sleep and there are a lot of people who struggle

[00:28:35] with sleeping while sleeping is absolutely critical it's often the thing that suffers the most there

[00:28:41] I would venture to say that everybody wills to go to sleep and have a deep sleep throughout

[00:28:46] the night but many people don't experience that and um and so when I'm talking about the circadian

[00:28:52] rhythm which is your system that allows you to sleep one way that impacts that is to spend time

[00:28:58] in the sun when the sun is out it's critical because it actually sets your circadian rhythm

[00:29:05] system to know oh it's daytime you I need to be alert and then when the darkness comes

[00:29:10] the body goes something has changed it's coming through your eyes like oh it's dark now

[00:29:15] now it's time for me to time out so that's why it's so critical to get outside

[00:29:20] I work a lot from home I work a lot inside so I can understand how the day can get away from you

[00:29:25] and you didn't get to go outside and take a walk but really really make it a point to get outside

[00:29:30] and sit in the sun at least 30 minutes uh you know during the day when you can and get that

[00:29:35] vitamin D get that into your system yeah and if you're Scandinavian wear sunscreen like

[00:29:40] 30 minutes to the sun I'll be red sleep is also I think uh like sleep deprivation it feels like

[00:29:47] torture and so there are probably parents out there who aren't sleeping right now yes and that's

[00:29:52] just a season that you're in right if you have small children it's going to be hard for you to get

[00:29:56] the adequate amount of sleep and it's almost like it's you're paying the dues of life

[00:30:01] but no it does get better as your kids get older and you are able to get back to a rhythm

[00:30:05] of sleep that's healthy but when you have small children it's not really much that you can do yeah

[00:30:10] that's where it can impact relationships like your marriage and other relationships because

[00:30:13] you're sleep deprived and you're not a very nice person to be around yeah you're not thinking clearly

[00:30:18] you're irritable you're you're disrespectful and I think it's giving each other grace and

[00:30:23] recognizing that we are sleep deprived and we are not our true selves yeah and asking yourself

[00:30:29] this question am I am I really angry or am I just tired yeah that's great that's that's a great

[00:30:35] question to ask yourself like why am I so grumpy right now oh I'm sleepy when you have a lack of

[00:30:41] sleep it affects your mood in ways that you can't even imagine but asking yourself that question

[00:30:46] can save you on some arguments and uh can help your relationships flourish as well yeah yeah

[00:30:51] so we need sleep to flourish and conversely without sleep you're going to feel that in

[00:30:56] every part of your life the negative effects of lack of sleep yeah so image of God body soul

[00:31:05] and this is a this is a big one right like so so in that passage in Genesis God creates human

[00:31:12] beings from the dust of the ground representational material part of us and then he breathes into

[00:31:17] the first human the breath of life and it says the man became a living being he had a soul a

[00:31:23] nephash and I think when we think of soul first of all soul is a term that a lot of people don't

[00:31:31] understand let me just simplify with an explanation of explanation of what a soul is it is the

[00:31:37] immaterial part of you it's all the part all the parts of you that you can't see it's your

[00:31:43] thoughts your emotions your capacity to worship and acknowledge God it's your capacity to have

[00:31:51] relationships it's all of these internal unseen immaterial parts of you that deeply influence

[00:31:58] your life so when you think about your soul we have to tend to our body but we also have to tend

[00:32:04] to our soul we have to say I have to become emotionally healthy I have to become mentally

[00:32:12] healthy and I have to become relationally healthy because all of these aspects of life

[00:32:18] mind emotions even decision-making habits and relationships find their core reality

[00:32:25] inside the human soul so we have to tend to our soul we have to water our soul we have to

[00:32:32] take care of our soul if we want all of those aspects to be healthy as well and one of the

[00:32:38] things that I think we often don't understand you know you've you've been sitting down

[00:32:44] with people helping them navigate through complex parts of life for a long time and I've

[00:32:48] been doing the same and you've been doing the same and oftentimes people don't understand that

[00:32:55] what they do to their body affects their soul yes and what is happening inside your soul

[00:33:01] affects your body there's this interconnection interplay between the body and soul that

[00:33:08] are really important to understand so when we talk about body don't just think that what

[00:33:12] you do to your body to intentionally cultivate it isn't going to have an effect on your soul

[00:33:18] because it will and don't think that some of the hurt and pain that you've dealt with in your life

[00:33:22] isn't going to have an effect on your body it does these are communicating with one another

[00:33:28] we're not two separate parts we're an embodied soul we're embodied beings and we have a

[00:33:33] soul and so talk to us like when you think about the most influential aspects of being human

[00:33:40] the soul and cultivating those what are some of the thoughts that come to mind yeah I would say

[00:33:46] you know as you're talking about having a soul I think that is how we worship right it's what has

[00:33:52] my affections my attention what is my mind most thinking about and hopefully as Jesus said we

[00:33:58] love the Lord all our heart mind and soul or is it heart mind or soul am I tripping on that

[00:34:02] yeah strength strength there we go but our soul yeah is what we want to is is the part of

[00:34:08] us I think that has this deep connection with God and you want to have a healthy soul and I think

[00:34:13] you have a healthy soul by doing several things making sure that your worship and attention and

[00:34:17] affection is on God making sure that you how you live your life is pleasing to God you want your

[00:34:24] soul to be healthy and Jesus is the one that helps that happen I think the evidence that

[00:34:29] you're feeding your soul comes out in your the way that you love and in your wisdom and

[00:34:35] discernment you'll find that the more time you spend feeding your soul by way of worshiping being in

[00:34:41] your word being self-reflective not self-critical but self-reflective in noticing what are the things

[00:34:51] that I'm doing what what are the activities or habits I'm participating in that are either

[00:34:56] hurting my soul or feeding my soul when we do that the outpouring of that what we

[00:35:04] start experiencing is that we become more discerning we make better decisions we give

[00:35:08] better guidance to people people actually there's this not just the immaterial strength of that

[00:35:16] draws people they may not know what it is but you'll find that more people will start wanting

[00:35:22] your insight and feel some level of draw to you this magnetism because of they there's

[00:35:28] something there in you they don't they may not be able to convey what it is and so they

[00:35:32] start seeking you for more information which strengthens relationships which is ultimately

[00:35:37] what God wants us to do he designs us to be there for each other too and so you see his wisdom

[00:35:42] and saying hey I'm giving you this soul the soul is going to make you wiser it's going to help you

[00:35:48] take care of yourself and it's going to help you take care of people people are going to

[00:35:51] notice that in you and they're going to come to you and then you all will become a stronger

[00:35:55] community and you can ultimately you'll have the credibility to lead them to the kingdom

[00:36:01] of God it's incredible the connection of all that so practical and insightful

[00:36:06] and I think as we're talking about human flourishing there's a lot of layers to each one of these

[00:36:10] facets and I just think this conversation is so valuable thank you for joining us today

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