WSL Ireland Conference 2023 - Rachel Neglia - Insecurity in Ministry

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[00:00:12] Hi and welcome to When She Leads, a podcast for women in ministry. In this episode, we are releasing one of our breakout sessions from our Equipped for a Purpose conference. I pray it encourages you.

[00:00:28] So, I want to start with sharing a little story with you guys. This over here. When I was six years old, many years ago, I was in kindergarten, that's like junior infants, and my teacher asked me if I would be the lead farm animal in our school play.

[00:00:53] Okay. Because I was able to read and you know, I had a bit of confidence and everything so she thought I would do a good job. She told me that, she encouraged me in that, and I was really flattered, super excited.

[00:01:05] I thought, yes, I would love to be the lead farm animal in this school play. And so then she, I'll never forget this, we had the little round tables in our classroom, and she brought me over to look at what I would get to wear. We were all going to wear little masks.

[00:01:22] And she showed, I think I was going to be a donkey, right? So a donkey has kind of like a long, narrow head, okay? And she showed me the masks for the donkey. And what, and it was long and narrow.

[00:01:33] And what my teacher didn't know is that I, as a six-year-old little girl, was extraordinarily insecure about the size of my head, okay? I thought I had a giant, round head. So much so that like, I'd hang upside down on the bars sometimes in a little dress.

[00:01:52] So the dress would hang down over my head, not caring that I was there in my underwear hanging upside down at school, you know, as long as my giant head was hidden. It wasn't that giant. I've seen photos. It actually was fine.

[00:02:03] But my teacher didn't know that, so I looked at this mask, and immediately I was like, I can't. I wanted to do this. I was super excited, but I can't do this because this mask won't cover my giant head.

[00:02:14] So I quickly shuffled through, and I was looking at all the little animals, you know, just photocopied. We hadn't cut them out yet.

[00:02:21] And I got to the cow, and the cow had a nice, round, wide mask, and it had big horns and big ears. So like, double coverage, okay?

[00:02:32] And I was like, that one. I have to be the cow. And she's like, what? The cow doesn't speak. There's like 10 cows, and they just sit in the back.

[00:02:37] I was like, that's fine. I have to be the cow because I can't. I just have to be the cow.

[00:02:42] So I was so embarrassed that I was embarrassed, right? So I couldn't tell her, well, I have this complex, you know?

[00:02:47] And so I ended up being a cow, and I just sat in the back in the play, and I have photos of it. I wish I had one today.

[00:02:56] But you know what? Isn't it great that fast forward, I'm 40 years old, I don't struggle with insecurity at all anymore, right?

[00:03:05] To outgrow that, like immediately, right? So thankful.

[00:03:08] No, I'm sharing this story with you guys because I know that every single one of you is a gifted and very valuable member of the body of Christ.

[00:03:25] And I also know that in this room this morning, there are some of us who, because of our fears or our insecurities, have hesitated to embrace all that God has for us as active members of his body, right?

[00:03:44] So maybe this morning, especially in light of last night, which was so amazing, maybe you feel that the Holy Spirit is breaking up new ground in your life, okay?

[00:03:55] Maybe you feel that he's encouraging you to step out in faith and serve him in a new way, possibly.

[00:04:01] This could be in your home. This could be in your church. This could be your family, your college, your workplace.

[00:04:09] Maybe there's people here this morning that know that you have gifts.

[00:04:15] You've seen them at work in your life, but you have neglected them.

[00:04:20] And now maybe you think, it's too late. I had my chance to exercise that gift.

[00:04:25] There's no point now. It's too late.

[00:04:28] Or maybe you tried already, but you feel that you failed.

[00:04:33] Like, I felt God was stirring up that gift in me. I kind of stepped out and it didn't really work.

[00:04:39] We fear being vulnerable.

[00:04:42] We fear having our weakness exposed.

[00:04:46] We think that we won't be as good as the other girl.

[00:04:50] Maybe you're just tired of being unappreciated, so you've just given up. It's not worth it.

[00:04:55] So you decide to stay in the background with your big cow mask because it's safe back there.

[00:05:02] So I want to share with you this morning a passage that has meant a lot to me personally as I've wrestled with everything that I kind of just went through.

[00:05:13] So if I could ask you guys, if you have a Bible or an app on your phone, to turn to Isaiah chapter 41, verses 9 and 10.

[00:05:26] Okay, I'll read that out.

[00:05:27] So Isaiah 41, 9 to 10.

[00:05:46] And so with that in mind, let's pray, okay?

[00:05:55] Lord, thank you so much for bringing us here this morning.

[00:05:59] Thank you, God, for your word that encourages us and lifts us up and strengthens us.

[00:06:07] God, I pray that even for these few minutes that we have together during this session,

[00:06:12] I pray, Lord, that you'd be bringing things to the forefront of our minds so that we can cast them at your feet, Lord.

[00:06:19] And so that we can walk out just renewed in our strength and our confidence as you're breaking up new ground in our lives, Lord, in our hearts.

[00:06:28] So, God, we commit this time to you, and I pray that you would just minister to us through these beautiful, beautiful words.

[00:06:35] In Jesus' name, amen.

[00:06:38] Amen.

[00:06:39] So kind of a phrase that I was thinking that kind of I'm going to keep coming back to this morning is this.

[00:06:45] Knowing whom you serve will determine how you serve.

[00:06:53] Okay?

[00:06:53] Knowing whom you serve will determine how you serve.

[00:06:58] So look at verse 9.

[00:06:59] You are my servant.

[00:07:04] Not you are a servant, but you are my servant.

[00:07:11] Okay?

[00:07:12] Do you guys believe that?

[00:07:14] Do you embrace that identity that we as believers have?

[00:07:18] The identity of a servant of God?

[00:07:22] Or, and this is often the truth, or have you allowed yourself to become a slave of man?

[00:07:28] Looking for approval from everyone around you.

[00:07:32] So, caught up in comparison and insecurity.

[00:07:37] This is something that I have always struggled with.

[00:07:40] It's a big reason.

[00:07:41] There are many reasons, but it's one of the reasons that I had to give up Instagram and Facebook.

[00:07:45] So if you've messaged me on this platform for the last year and a half, I'm sorry.

[00:07:48] I don't check them anymore.

[00:07:50] I'm not mad at you.

[00:07:51] You can WhatsApp me.

[00:07:51] But I had to give that up because it was like, okay, in my own life, in my real life around me, I have enough struggles and insecurities and things that I'm battling in my mind.

[00:08:01] Let alone a second virtual world where I need to do that again.

[00:08:06] And so, yeah, very hard.

[00:08:09] But, you know, in its purest form, okay, comparison can actually be good if we're inspired by somebody, right?

[00:08:17] If we want to emulate their faith, okay?

[00:08:20] It even says in the Bible that we're supposed to imitate those who, through faith and patience, inherit the promises.

[00:08:28] But I think too often, I know that too often, comparison leads to bitter envy and discouragement, right?

[00:08:38] Discouragement for our own hearts.

[00:08:40] Until we label ourselves as unworthy to be a servant of the Lord.

[00:08:46] You know, because believe me, we can always find somebody who's better, right?

[00:08:50] We can always find, like, a more involved mom or a more skilled coworker or a more holy Christian.

[00:08:59] And so, comparison is out there and it's real.

[00:09:02] And I think as well, we live in a world that's just obsessed with likes, right?

[00:09:07] And we crave that approval.

[00:09:09] We feed off of it.

[00:09:11] And then we base our own worth on it as well, don't we?

[00:09:15] We want to be seen and we want to be celebrated for everything that we do.

[00:09:20] I was thinking just a few weeks ago, and I'm sure some of you guys were in the same boat, but I was doing teacher presents, right?

[00:09:29] And I have three kids and my oldest son has special needs.

[00:09:33] He has loads of helpers.

[00:09:34] So there's, like, loads of gifts I'm trying to organize.

[00:09:38] And I went out into my garden and I was, like, making all these elaborate flower arrangements for them.

[00:09:43] And I went and I picked all these elderflowers and I made elderflower cordial.

[00:09:46] And everything's, like, labeled with cute little labels and twine and strings and all these little handwritten cards.

[00:09:51] And I send them off, you know, because you can't go up to the door.

[00:09:53] You have to, like, send these gifts with your child up to the door themselves.

[00:09:57] So I didn't get to present them to the teachers.

[00:09:59] So my kids come home and I'm like, stop!

[00:10:02] What do they think?

[00:10:03] What did the teachers say about, like, my guests?

[00:10:05] Oh, yeah.

[00:10:09] Hours.

[00:10:09] Well, days.

[00:10:10] Because the elderflower cordial takes forever.

[00:10:12] It's, like, overnight, 24 hours.

[00:10:14] And I'm like, did they say anything?

[00:10:17] No.

[00:10:19] And I'm just like, oh, my gosh.

[00:10:23] Like, you don't see them again for the summer.

[00:10:24] And, like, that's the end.

[00:10:26] And that's fine.

[00:10:26] If there's teachers out there, that's fine.

[00:10:28] You should not have to, like, send us a thank you note for the thank you present.

[00:10:32] I just wanted some.

[00:10:34] I just, I put a lot into it.

[00:10:35] I was hoping for some feedback, okay?

[00:10:37] Um, so, like, yeah.

[00:10:41] But, so that's, like, this desire for approval.

[00:10:44] But I think that this obsession with approval can kind of creep into our Christian life and ministry as well.

[00:10:52] And when that happens, it results in huge discouragement and also burnout.

[00:10:59] I have, as well, I have often poured myself out and not felt valued or seen.

[00:11:12] And then, instead of joy and serving God, I'm tempted to feel bitter because I wasn't appreciated.

[00:11:20] It's all about that approval.

[00:11:21] And so I want to ask you guys, and we'll kind of ask this a few times this morning, but what about you?

[00:11:28] Whose approval do you seek?

[00:11:33] Have you ever, like, lay awake at night agonizing over what somebody thinks of you?

[00:11:39] Have you ever found yourself totally devastated and discouraged because maybe you stepped out in faith, but then you were criticized?

[00:11:47] Are you a victim of gossip?

[00:11:50] Have you felt the bitter disappointment and frustration of totally pouring yourself out in service?

[00:11:58] Only to be unappreciated or unseen.

[00:12:03] Maybe your friends, your family, your colleagues, your kids, your husband.

[00:12:07] Not my husband, who's here this morning.

[00:12:12] He is great.

[00:12:13] Even your own church.

[00:12:14] Maybe they don't seem to appreciate you.

[00:12:16] And so, why should we try?

[00:12:19] Or maybe the opposite is true, okay?

[00:12:22] If I try harder, then they're going to see me and appreciate me, okay?

[00:12:27] I know that I'll get that recognition or that approval or the validation that I just am craving so much to fill that emptiness.

[00:12:35] And it can become an idol, you know?

[00:12:39] So, whose servant are you?

[00:12:44] I'll give you a hint.

[00:12:46] Depends on whose approval you're seeking.

[00:12:48] It says in Galatians 1.10, obviously, it's a New Living Translation.

[00:12:54] Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God.

[00:13:00] If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant.

[00:13:09] Remember, knowing whom we serve determines how we serve.

[00:13:14] We are his servant.

[00:13:17] We are Christ's servant.

[00:13:19] He has chosen us.

[00:13:21] And that means, and this is like, that means we have one master to serve.

[00:13:26] One.

[00:13:27] One master to serve.

[00:13:28] One.

[00:13:30] Because pleasing people is so exhausting.

[00:13:37] It's a heavy burden.

[00:13:40] It's time-consuming.

[00:13:42] It's soul-consuming.

[00:13:44] It depletes us physically, emotionally.

[00:13:47] And then even when you win that approval and people are pleased with you, it's fleeting, right?

[00:13:52] It's fickle.

[00:13:53] It changes.

[00:13:54] We get kind of caught up in this cycle.

[00:13:58] And I'm wondering, like, are you caught up in an exhausting cycle of trying to please everyone around you?

[00:14:08] Are you weary?

[00:14:10] Are you heavy laden?

[00:14:11] I love that we sing that song this morning.

[00:14:13] Are you weak and heavy laden?

[00:14:14] Jesus says, come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

[00:14:29] We come to him in our weakness and our insecurity and our unworthiness.

[00:14:37] And we find rest in his grace, okay?

[00:14:42] See, the grace of God, in stark contrast to the judgment of men, allows me to serve in freedom.

[00:14:50] And it's not that we're set free from serving, but rather it's like we're set free to serve, but in the freedom of his grace.

[00:15:00] We have freedom from the fear of failure, freedom from the bitterness of comparison, and then freedom to serve people who are ungrateful.

[00:15:15] Freedom to love people who are unlovable.

[00:15:19] Freedom to pour ourselves out for those who don't even see and maybe don't even care.

[00:15:26] But you see, it wasn't for them in the first place.

[00:15:28] We're his servant.

[00:15:32] We're serving him alone.

[00:15:35] And it's for his pleasure and by his power, which is wonderful.

[00:15:42] And then we're just covered by his grace, which makes provision for all of our failures past, present, and future.

[00:15:50] Okay?

[00:15:52] Okay?

[00:15:52] So, you know, I chose this passage because I personally need to meditate on this truth.

[00:16:02] And this past year, especially for me, has been hard.

[00:16:08] I've had more opportunity than ever before to compare myself.

[00:16:15] I've had more reason to feel inadequate.

[00:16:19] I've had more inclination to fear.

[00:16:23] And I've had more temptation to give up.

[00:16:28] And so, making habit and rhythm and practice of dwelling on the truth.

[00:16:35] Not only who my master is, but also who I am in him.

[00:16:44] It's a hard practice, but it's life-giving.

[00:16:48] And it has to be continual.

[00:16:50] And it has to be taking those thoughts captive.

[00:16:51] It has to be continually going back to him to be reminded of the identity that I have in him.

[00:16:57] Because, remember, when we know whom we serve, it determines how we serve.

[00:17:04] So, girls, we have one master to please.

[00:17:08] And guess what?

[00:17:09] He is already overwhelmingly pleased with you in Christ.

[00:17:15] He's pleased with Christ in us and us in Christ.

[00:17:19] And so, as my husband says, we serve from approval and not for approval.

[00:17:27] I don't know if he made that up, but I've only heard him say it.

[00:17:30] So, we serve from approval, not for approval.

[00:17:34] So, let's keep reading.

[00:17:36] You are my servant.

[00:17:37] I have chosen you and not cast you off.

[00:17:43] So, we looked at servant and now we're going to look at chosen.

[00:17:47] We are chosen.

[00:17:49] But, hang on, maybe you don't feel chosen.

[00:17:55] Maybe the second phrase or the second part, half of that verse, resonates more with you.

[00:18:01] Cast off.

[00:18:04] Have you ever felt cast off?

[00:18:07] Not good enough.

[00:18:09] Maybe someone else casts you off or maybe you cast yourself off.

[00:18:14] Because we can do that to ourselves.

[00:18:16] Sometimes we're our own biggest critic.

[00:18:20] Maybe we've cast ourselves off believing that we're never going to be of use to the kingdom of God.

[00:18:26] Now, remember, in context of this verse that we're looking at today,

[00:18:29] Israel was chosen because of God's initiative, not Israel's achievement.

[00:18:36] It's very important because it's true for us as well.

[00:18:40] Chosen, right?

[00:18:41] We're looking at chosen.

[00:18:42] If I or if we were chosen by man, it would be based off of what we have to offer, right?

[00:18:52] But we are chosen by God and it's based off of what he has to offer.

[00:19:00] Side note, I hope this is encouraging to anyone here who has ever embraced that terrible identity of thinking that you're an imposter.

[00:19:11] Imposter syndrome.

[00:19:12] Have you guys ever?

[00:19:13] Yes.

[00:19:15] You know, the opposite of being an imposter is somebody who's chosen, who's supposed to be there.

[00:19:20] Okay?

[00:19:21] So that's something that you struggle with in your Christian life or identity.

[00:19:24] If it's something that's holding you back, please remember that you are chosen.

[00:19:28] There are no imposters in the kingdom of God.

[00:19:31] He has chosen you.

[00:19:33] Okay?

[00:19:33] And not only are we chosen to be his, we're also then equipped.

[00:19:40] So he chooses us to be his servants, but then he equips us to be his servants, right?

[00:19:47] When we know who we serve, it determines how we serve.

[00:19:51] We serve a God who chooses and equips.

[00:19:57] Christina Fox, an author, not to be confused with Krista Fox.

[00:20:00] Christina Fox says, God does not expect you to serve out of your own inherent abilities.

[00:20:10] As this reluctant servant has learned, God does not call the capable.

[00:20:18] He makes capable the called.

[00:20:22] He doesn't give us a task and then expect us to figure out how to do it on our own.

[00:20:26] But rather, he provides everything we need to serve him through his spirit.

[00:20:34] Or as Chuck Smith, founder of the Calvary Chapel Movement, says, God doesn't call the equipped.

[00:20:39] He equips the called.

[00:20:41] Okay?

[00:20:43] In 1 Peter 4.10, it says,

[00:20:47] As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God's varied grace.

[00:20:56] Okay?

[00:20:57] Okay?

[00:20:57] So, as each has received a gift, use it to serve others.

[00:21:00] Okay?

[00:21:01] As stewards of his grace.

[00:21:02] So, servant of God, you are equipped.

[00:21:05] Okay?

[00:21:06] You are equipped.

[00:21:07] You have received gifts.

[00:21:09] And so has the servant of God sitting next to you.

[00:21:12] So, kind of looking back to that idea of comparison.

[00:21:16] Instead of comparing our gifts, because we know it's from his varied grace, you know, to build up this very varied body of Christ.

[00:21:24] But instead of comparing our giftings, let's encourage one another in our giftings.

[00:21:31] Let's spur one another on.

[00:21:35] You know, in Ireland, we're really good at slagging.

[00:21:38] And, like, that's great.

[00:21:38] And it's how we show our love to each other.

[00:21:40] Americans in the room, this is, like, when we tease and put people down.

[00:21:42] It's our highest form of love.

[00:21:44] Right?

[00:21:44] Okay?

[00:21:45] Anyway, so much so that when me and Mike go back to California, our family are, like, grotting.

[00:21:49] Like, Liz, why are you mocking us constantly?

[00:21:52] It's because we love you.

[00:21:53] You know?

[00:21:53] And they're like, okay, stop teasing us.

[00:21:56] This idea of this, like, slagging, you know, constantly putting everybody down and laughing about it.

[00:22:01] We're good at that, okay?

[00:22:02] So, that's great.

[00:22:03] Let's be good at that.

[00:22:04] But let's be even better at building one another up.

[00:22:09] Have you ever, like, received a text late at night just somebody encouraging you in something?

[00:22:13] You know, I got one of those last night.

[00:22:14] And I was like, oh, my gosh.

[00:22:16] It took her, like, 30 seconds to write this.

[00:22:17] And I'm going back and reading it over and over and over because I feel so encouraged.

[00:22:24] I know I'm emphasizing that we shouldn't be serving for approval, okay?

[00:22:29] But that doesn't stop us from freely giving approval, encouragement, building one another up, okay?

[00:22:36] Because it's just, it costs us nothing.

[00:22:39] And it can be everything to this next servant of God who's sitting next to you.

[00:22:45] So, women, let's build one another up.

[00:22:49] In his book, Practicing Affirmation, Sam Crabtree says,

[00:22:53] God is glorified in us when we affirm the work he has done and is doing in others.

[00:23:01] I love that.

[00:23:02] God is glorified in us when we affirm the work that he has done and is doing in others.

[00:23:08] So, let's do that, okay?

[00:23:10] So, we're chosen.

[00:23:11] Let's keep going.

[00:23:13] Kind of the next bit of the verse.

[00:23:17] Fear not, okay?

[00:23:20] So, we've seen whom we serve.

[00:23:24] And now we're going to look at how we serve.

[00:23:27] And I'll give you a hint.

[00:23:28] We serve fearlessly, okay?

[00:23:31] We serve fearlessly.

[00:23:33] Let's go back to our text.

[00:23:35] You are my servant.

[00:23:36] I have chosen you and not cast you off.

[00:23:39] Fear not, for I am with you.

[00:23:43] Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

[00:23:48] So, we have here a command and a promise.

[00:23:52] What's the command?

[00:23:53] Fear not.

[00:23:54] What's the promise?

[00:23:55] Because I'm with you.

[00:23:57] You don't have to fear.

[00:23:58] You're not alone.

[00:24:01] I was thinking, you know, when Mike and I moved to Ireland 20 years ago, we had every reason to fear.

[00:24:08] We had no money and no experience and no plan and no car and no internet.

[00:24:15] And, yeah, we just didn't really know what we were doing, okay?

[00:24:20] So, we had plenty of reasons to fear.

[00:24:21] We had people telling us, this is a bad idea.

[00:24:24] What are you guys doing?

[00:24:24] And we're like, we didn't know, but we think God has called us.

[00:24:27] But, like, so we had loads of reasons to fear.

[00:24:30] But you know what else we had?

[00:24:31] We had a very childlike faith.

[00:24:36] And I say childlike because we were ignorant children.

[00:24:40] And so, but God used that.

[00:24:43] Like, I wouldn't do that now and I wouldn't encourage my kids to do that either, you know?

[00:24:46] Like, what we were really, and yeah, and that's the idea of childlike faith.

[00:24:53] When we don't let all of our past experience mess with our view of God, you know?

[00:24:59] We cling to the truth more than, you know, maybe what we feel or what we've experienced or what we've seen or whatever.

[00:25:08] And because we knew that God was with us, we had no doubt that he was with us and that he had brought us here when we were 20 years old, that changed everything.

[00:25:22] So, to everyone else, we looked very alone and unsupported.

[00:25:26] We didn't have a supporting agency that sent us.

[00:25:28] We didn't have anything like that.

[00:25:29] We didn't have, like, any accountability.

[00:25:30] Nothing, okay?

[00:25:31] But we had the Lord and we were very confident that we were not alone.

[00:25:35] Remember, he says, fear not, for I am with you.

[00:25:38] We knew that he was with us.

[00:25:40] We knew we weren't alone.

[00:25:42] And that confidence that he gave us, because it was from him, that faith that he gave us, was big enough to make all these insurmountable things surmountable, I suppose.

[00:25:54] So, what about you guys?

[00:25:55] What do you fear when we talk and we think about breaking up new ground?

[00:26:03] Jessica spoke about idols last night.

[00:26:06] Maybe, you know, maybe we're afraid to let go of those things that we're clinging to, that we think are supporting us and holding us up.

[00:26:12] Maybe we're afraid if we let go, then we'll be left with nothing.

[00:26:17] But if you look at the text, there's answers to all of these fears, okay?

[00:26:23] So, do you fear walking alone?

[00:26:27] Well, he is with you.

[00:26:29] Do you fear your weakness?

[00:26:33] Well, he will strengthen you.

[00:26:35] Do you fear being helpless?

[00:26:38] He will help you.

[00:26:40] Do you fear that you'll fall and fail?

[00:26:43] He'll uphold you.

[00:26:45] Do you fear your sin and your unworthiness?

[00:26:49] Well, his righteous right hand sustains you.

[00:26:55] I read somewhere how much more prone to fear and discouragement we are when we are alone.

[00:27:03] But we are never alone because God has declared, fear not, for I am with you.

[00:27:12] So, you know, I have a five-year-old who's somewhere in this building and sometimes he wakes up really early.

[00:27:19] And we have an old house.

[00:27:22] We have one bathroom.

[00:27:23] It's downstairs at the very, very back of the house.

[00:27:26] And sometimes he will wake up to him just kind of sitting on the stairs and like, oh, I need to go to the toilet.

[00:27:31] And we're like, just go.

[00:27:33] No, I need something to go with me.

[00:27:34] And we're just like, no.

[00:27:36] And so for a long time, one of us would have to get up down the stairs, through the diner room, through the kitchen,

[00:27:40] all the way to the back to take him to the toilet.

[00:27:42] Because he was just too scared to be alone.

[00:27:45] But what we've been able to do lately is I'll be like, look, I'll just talk to you and then you'll know.

[00:27:52] And then I don't have to get out of bed, okay?

[00:27:53] So I get to lay there and be like, I'm here.

[00:27:57] And he'll like walk down.

[00:27:59] And then he'll get to the very back.

[00:28:00] I'm still here.

[00:28:01] Come on, run.

[00:28:02] And then he'll run as fast as he can.

[00:28:03] God isn't far off shouting, you're fine.

[00:28:12] My five-year-old, he was never alone, okay?

[00:28:14] His whole family is there in the house.

[00:28:16] He's fine.

[00:28:17] But he needed to be reminded that he wasn't alone, you know?

[00:28:20] And sometimes we might feel very, very alone.

[00:28:22] I can't do this.

[00:28:24] And we have to just cling to that promise.

[00:28:27] Fear not.

[00:28:28] Why?

[00:28:29] Because I'm with you.

[00:28:31] He's with us.

[00:28:31] Even if we don't feel it or see it, we believe it because his word says it and we know that it's true.

[00:28:38] So knowing whom we serve determines how we serve.

[00:28:42] So whom do we serve?

[00:28:44] We serve a God who is with us, who sees us, who doesn't leave us or forsake us, who chooses us and equips us.

[00:28:55] Okay?

[00:28:55] That's who we serve.

[00:28:56] How do we serve?

[00:28:57] We serve fearlessly.

[00:29:00] We serve with boldness and confidence and full assurance of his presence and his provision.

[00:29:08] When we step out in faith, it's not into this vast unknown, even if it looks that way, because he's right there with us, okay?

[00:29:16] And he's holding us.

[00:29:18] And so I hope that that promise strengthens you and comforts you as you allow him to break up new ground in your life.

[00:29:27] Okay?

[00:29:28] We're going to close with one more kind of word, and that's upheld.

[00:29:35] He says, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

[00:29:43] When I read that, I couldn't help but think of Exodus 17 when Moses is standing on the mountain.

[00:29:51] You remember that story?

[00:29:52] And when he holds up his staff, then the children of Israel are like, yeah, we got this.

[00:29:56] And then when it falls, they're like, never mind.

[00:29:58] We're going to die.

[00:30:00] And he gets weary, right?

[00:30:02] So he gets Aaron and her.

[00:30:03] And what do they do?

[00:30:05] They hold up his hands, right?

[00:30:08] And it's that same word, uphold, okay?

[00:30:12] They're upholding his hands.

[00:30:14] It's the same.

[00:30:14] So it's the idea of support, hold up, okay?

[00:30:20] So are you weary?

[00:30:21] I have good news for you.

[00:30:27] God's hand never grows weary.

[00:30:32] You can rest secure in him forever.

[00:30:39] We are held up by his righteousness, not our own, okay?

[00:30:46] And I hope this encourages you as much as it encourages me that we're not upheld by our success or our worthiness or whatever,

[00:30:54] but rather we're upheld by the righteousness of God.

[00:31:00] I remember almost six years ago, we moved here in Calvary Corp.

[00:31:06] We're meeting in a school for now.

[00:31:09] And six years ago, we moved into that school.

[00:31:12] And there was so much to do because we went from having our own place to having to set up every Sunday.

[00:31:17] Does anybody else have to do that in your church where you have to have all this stuff and set up every – yeah, I hear you.

[00:31:24] So our first Sunday there, my husband had just been hit by a car and couldn't do anything.

[00:31:33] And I had just given birth via C-section, like literally maybe a week before.

[00:31:38] And I wasn't allowed to lift anything, right?

[00:31:44] And Mike couldn't either.

[00:31:45] And I remember just standing in this huge empty gym.

[00:31:49] And I'm sure we didn't have enough volunteers that morning and we didn't really know what we were doing.

[00:31:53] And we have all of these chairs and we have sound system and all this stuff to put out.

[00:31:58] And normally that's my thing.

[00:32:00] I'm here.

[00:32:01] Just tell me what to do and I'll do it, you know?

[00:32:04] And I remember just standing there and feeling so helpless and kind of worthless because everybody is setting up.

[00:32:14] And this is a church that I love so passionately and I'm just doing nothing, you know?

[00:32:17] And it was like a bit of an identity crisis, really, because I literally couldn't do anything at all, you know?

[00:32:28] But, you know, sometimes being a servant of God, it doesn't look like much on the outside.

[00:32:37] And that can be very hard when so much of our identity is bound up in what people see in us and what they think of us.

[00:32:53] But God can be doing a very mighty work inside of us and it doesn't make us any less of a servant if the people around us don't really see what's going on in our heart.

[00:33:07] I wish that I could go back to that time and, like, grab myself, gently, gentle shake post-C-section, and just allow the truth of God's grace to speak louder.

[00:33:20] Because I knew that was true.

[00:33:21] Of course I knew.

[00:33:22] It's how I would have counseled somebody else, you know?

[00:33:24] But I wish I had allowed the truth of his grace to speak louder than the lies that I was listening to.

[00:33:32] I think so often we know the truth.

[00:33:34] We know that it's there, but we let those other voices be so much louder.

[00:33:40] Because he promises us, my grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in your weakness.

[00:33:50] We don't have to hold ourselves up.

[00:33:53] He upholds us.

[00:33:57] Whom we serve determines how we serve.

[00:34:00] We serve a God who holds us up by his righteous right hand.

[00:34:07] I want to read, as we close, I want to read a quote by Spurgeon.

[00:34:12] He's speaking about this very text.

[00:34:14] It's great when you find Spurgeon quote about the exact text that you're teaching us.

[00:34:19] But this is what he says.

[00:34:21] This is amazing.

[00:34:21] Did we make a slide for this, Mike?

[00:34:23] We did.

[00:34:24] Wow.

[00:34:25] You did.

[00:34:31] Spurgeon did.

[00:34:32] Spurgeon did.

[00:34:32] Okay.

[00:34:35] Spurgeon says of this verse,

[00:34:38] But now again, I beg you to grasp this precious word.

[00:34:44] I will uphold thee at the right hand of my righteousness.

[00:34:49] That is the safe, the self-same hand which holds the stars in their place.

[00:34:55] That is the hand which bears up the unpillared arch of heaven that spans both sea and shore.

[00:35:03] Or can it not bear you up?

[00:35:08] Oh, rest upon it, and you shall not be cast down.

[00:35:14] The right hand of his righteousness is the very hand that you and I once had cause to fear,

[00:35:23] lest our offended king should smite us with it.

[00:35:27] For we righteously deserved his wrath.

[00:35:32] But ever since the hand of Christ was pierced,

[00:35:37] the right hand of God has never smitten a believer so as to destroy him.

[00:35:42] That same hand which might have crushed is now placed under us to bear us up in all of our afflictions.

[00:35:57] So whom do we serve?

[00:35:59] Girls, we're beloved servants of God alone, one master.

[00:36:06] And how do we serve?

[00:36:09] Free from the burden of pleasing people.

[00:36:13] Free from comparison and insecurity.

[00:36:17] Free from the fears that hold us back.

[00:36:19] Free to serve with boldness and confidence because he has chosen you.

[00:36:26] Okay?

[00:36:27] Okay?

[00:36:27] He hasn't cast you off.

[00:36:29] He has gifted you.

[00:36:31] He is with you.

[00:36:33] He will strengthen you.

[00:36:36] And he will uphold you with his righteous right hand.

[00:36:41] Amen?

[00:36:42] Amen.

[00:36:43] Let's pray.

[00:36:44] And what I'm going to ask is let's just put our hands out like this.

[00:36:50] As we pray, just in a posture of surrender and acknowledgement that it's the Lord who upholds us.

[00:36:58] We come to him with empty hands and who fills us.

[00:37:03] Thank you, Lord, that you have poured out your grace on us.

[00:37:09] Thank you, Lord, that we are free to serve you.

[00:37:13] Because, Lord, you're already pleased with Christ in us and us in Christ.

[00:37:18] Thank you, Lord, that we're chosen.

[00:37:20] Thank you that we don't have to fear.

[00:37:21] And thank you most of all that because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross, we are covered by your righteousness.

[00:37:29] We are upheld by your righteousness.

[00:37:32] And it's not about what we do or how we do it, Lord.

[00:37:35] It's about what you have done for us.

[00:37:38] And because of that, Lord, we just ask that you continue breaking up that new ground in our hearts, Lord.

[00:37:44] If there's things that you stirred up in us this morning, we come to you with open hands.

[00:37:48] And we just ask that you strengthen us as we continue to step out as servants of God.

[00:37:54] Thank you that we don't do it alone.

[00:37:56] And we do it in your strength and power.

[00:37:57] In Jesus' name, amen.

[00:38:17] Thank you.