S2E10: Community and Accountability

Hey guys, so today in session four, we're talking a little bit about community and accountability. And let me just read to you the kind of topic description that I was given by Billy and by Daniel. Here it is. Topic details. Having a supportive community and accountability partners helps in staying grounded and receiving encouragement and correction when needed. And I think that's spot on. Considered an honor to be able to speak with us a little bit today about building community and accountability, especially for those of us who are in ministry. So to kind of help guide us through this brief time, I've developed a one sheet that kind of uses the word connect as a guide for us with three keys for each letter of that word. And you can kind of remember them. I guess with the acronym TSA. We're all familiar with TSA and maybe the ⁓ benefit or maybe the bummers sometimes that it provides for us when we're traveling from point A to point B through the air. But I'd like to give you just a simple thought, a scripture, and an action step as it relates to building community and accountability in ministry. First and foremost, our letter C. I think you have to commit. To community. Here's the thought. Intentional, and I use that word intentionally, intentional relationships with mentors, with peers, and with a small group. It's vital. Let me read to you from Hebrews chapter 10. Hebrews 10, 24, 25 says, and let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Not giving up meeting together. You see, I think this idea of building community and accountability in ministry, we could quote statistics, ⁓ share stories, give examples of how valuable this has been in the positive and in the negative for ministry leaders. ⁓ I don't know that that point needs to be exhausted. I think we see that in our own generation and in generations before us. But I think this reality needs to be owned by us that committing to community should not be optional. It should be intentional. It's necessary for us to remain balanced in ministry. You know, someone once shared with me that in ministry and in life in general, you need to discern when you encounter a challenge. Is this a problem to be solved or a tension to balance? I don't think you ever solve community or accountability. It's something you constantly lean into, you constantly find yourself engaged in. And sometimes you're probably thriving in that in other ways, and in other times you need to grow in that. But I think this idea that hey, having intentional relationships with peers, like what we're doing right now, with mentors, a small group, it's vital. And I think an action step would be simply this. So schedule it. You know that what we intend to do doesn't always end up being what we do, but what we're intentional with, well, has more opportunity to actually be fruitful. For me personally, Thursday mornings, 6 a.m., there's 15 guys. And on a Thursday morning at 6 a.m. in the conference room of our church, I meet with these guys. Not all 15 always show up, and I don't lead the group. In fact, one of the guys on the board has been leading this group for the last six years. And I simply joined it as a participant. And I love sitting with these guys every single Thursday when I'm in town and when I'm not, through group me, we're texting. In fact, as I record this, it's a Thursday. So this morning, as is my rhythm, I met with the guys. One of the guys, his name is Shem, he's in Guam, at least until July. So he joined us by FaceTime. We read scripture together. We prayed. And guys, can I just share this with you? He was in tears ⁓ with just how much he misses his family. I mean, at the time of this recording, it's just after Thanksgiving and before Christmas and the dynamic of having his two daughters and wife at home while he serves our country in Guam was a reality for him that he felt safe to express in a group of guys, a community that he's committed to. and he's in Guam. He had to wake himself up due to the time difference to be there. It's value to him. And I would say this. In the long run, what you value, you do. So if you value community, commit to it. The second thing this is the letter O. And with the letter O, I would say this. Open up with vulnerability. See, here's the ⁓ here's the thought. Authentic community requires transparency about struggles and victories. James chapter five says this confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. I'll never forget being in a group, gracious, maybe seven or eight years ago with a guy named Jamie. Jamie started an organization called To Write Love on Our Arms. And he has a best selling book and apparel and all these different things. And there was a group of us there just to meet with Jamie and ⁓ some of the individuals that were there to were there to learn how to write, you know, maybe like Jamie. I don't know. But ⁓ It's an interesting thing being in a room with people that do what you do. And there's a little bit of this, like, not a pecking order, but you know what mean? Like, ⁓ the. And Jamie opened up with a tremendous amount of vulnerability as the leader, as the one that we were all there to listen to. And it immediately set the tone where so many people opened up in that opening session. Listen, Jamie's not even a Christian. This isn't a value that's siloed to Christianity or pastors. ⁓ I think it's something being human that when you open up with vulnerability, going first in that, saying, Hey, here's where I am, here's my struggles, here are my victories, that is an adhesive to building accountability and community. And so I think an action step there is practice sharing openly in safe spaces with trusted relationships and cultivate a culture that. Of grace and truth. Today in our our men's meeting, one of the guys shared, Man, I was cussing at my neighbor th this week. He was so frustrating to me. And we shared a little bit up from I think it was Proverbs 6 and Proverbs 9 about like, hey, maybe don't rebuke a fool. See what happened. He's Man, just thank you for letting me get this off my chest. But see, with that individual, we'll just call his name Jack. ⁓ Jack's been coming for a while. He didn't do that week one, but over time there was this dynamic where he felt like he could be safe. To be vulnerable, especially with his pastor, that he can admit to cussing. And I just thought it was great, but I thought it's this dynamic that with community and accountability, it comes with time, but don't be afraid to open up with vulnerability in a safe place. Number three, nurture trust. Here's the key thought: trust is the foundation of effective accountability and encouragement. Listen, if there's not trust and relationship, there is no relationship. Ecclesiastes 4 says two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls, one can help up the other because you depend on one another. So as an action step, build credibility with reliable and empathetic interactions with people. You see, the way to nurture trust is to be consistent. And it's to be someone who leads with empathy. Listen, no one cares how much you know unless they know that you care. And people aren't always looking just for an answer man as much as they are looking for a shoulder, a listening ear. And the ability to nurture trust comes with two ears and one mouth. That ability to not always feel like you have to solve every problem, but to be there. Nurture trust. Open with vulnerability, commit to community, and navigate conflict gracefully. That's point number four. See, I want to share this with you. I hope you can hear this. I don't really believe that all conflict is bad. Not only is it necessary, it's gonna happen. I mean, I've heard it once said that if you put two people in a room for long enough and there's never a disagreement, it's only because one of them is definitely not honest that you're gonna eventually disagree. But see, conflict can deepen relationships when it's handled biblically. Listen to what Matthew 18 says. If a brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault just between the two of you. I can think of a a recent situation in my own life where I was on a mission trip and with one of the leaders, there was a dynamic where he and I needed to navigate some conflict. And we did it openly. We did it clearly. This is a 10-year relationship that I've had with this individual. And there were moments where, like, yeah, we disagree. ⁓ it's, you know, it's a little tense right now. But we just continued to commit to one another. And as we navigated conflict, listen, gracefully, did I just say conflict? I mean conflict. ⁓ man, at the end of it, at least in that situation, doesn't always end up this way. Our relationship is strengthened. In fact, the next day we both came to each other and said, Man, thank you for valuing me enough to walk through challenge and not run from challenge. And so here's the action step. Address things directly with humility, with love. And make the goal not to win the point, but to win the person. You know, reconciliation is a ministry that we're called to. And so if you want to be involved in genuine community and accountability in ministry, navigating conflict is a dynamic that you never graduate from. Well, next, I think we should encourage one another. You know, it says in First Thessalonians 5, encourage one another and build one another up. So here's the thought. Words of affirmation, acts of kindness, that's what strengthens community. It upslift spirits. So make encouragement. Listen, you you want to build, make encouragement. Listen, hear me on this. Make it a daily habit. Send texts, notes, make a phone call. Uplift others in your circle. I mean, before we end this time together today, don't leave it without thinking, hey, who can I encourage? Who can I be a support to? Send the text. Letter C. Cultivate Accountability. Now I use those two words intentionally. Cultivate accountability. See, here's the here's the thought. Partners of accountability, they ground us, they align us with God's word, and they help focus our calling. As Proverbs 27 says, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. So here's the thought. Partner with people. And that's truly what it is. It's a partnership. Partner with those who will lovingly challenge you, celebrate your wins, and pray with you regularly. It's a partnership. There's only one person you're married to, hopefully. If not, we got other accountability issues we need to discuss. But when you partner with people, partnerships can be for a specific reason and season. You're not necessarily taking them on to raise forever. There may be a time where you go, man, at this season in my life, I'm a part of this group. At this season in my life, I'm a part of this relationship. So I think God brings people into your life for a reason and for a season. In my life, I have a handful of relationships that God has brought into my life that are still there. And these kind of realities of commitment to one another, vulnerability. Trust, navigating conflict, encouragement, and cultivating accountability, those are somewhat like two, three decades in. And I count those relationships near and dear. And then there's other ones, guys that come into my Thursday morning group, so to speak, that I'm still getting to know. And there's this dynamic that I still partner with them at an appropriate level. And I think that's wise to have. circles of accountability and partnerships and ministry and community where you trust individuals at different levels as you build relationships. But listen, partner with those who are going to lift you up, cause you to dream, not be drained, who will celebrate and also provide truth in love. So just as a review, commit to community, open with vulnerability, nurture trust. Navigate conflict gracefully, encourage one another, cultivate accountability, and lastly, for letter T, take the first step. Here's the thought. Community doesn't form itself. So take initiative, build it, and sustain it. Ephesians 4.3 says, make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. You see, I think one of the worst ways to make a friend is to hope that one shows up. I think for us, especially as pastors, we need to be intentional about shepherding people, but then also finding ourselves shepherded by being in community. My opinion is that I'm responsible for me. And so if I'm lacking something, I first and foremost want to say, okay, Lord, is there anything within the opportunities, relationships, or open doors that you've afforded to me that I can take a step in and just go, hi, my name is Hi, my name is like take a first step. If someone wants to have friends, he's got to be friendly. And so, guys, ⁓ I know these aren't concepts that are new. I know they're not ⁓ Earth shattering. I know there's more that you could add. But in order to just kind of foster some discussion on ⁓ page two of our little one sheet, I guess now it's a two sheet, ⁓ there's some discussion questions. There's a challenge. I mean, consider what barriers there might be. For pastors or for you to engage an authentic community, share an experience where maybe accountability positively impacted your ministry and maybe some practical steps of how you can move forward. But I don't want to leave you without a challenge to not leave today without taking a step further in building community and accountability in ministry. I believe, as I said in kind of our opening point of just committing to it, that this is vital, that we are designed. to be connected in the image of a triune God, Father, Son, and Spirit, you and I are made to be in community. So guys, I hope today's content and our discussion ⁓ is beneficial as you pursue community and accountability in ministry.