Leadership Pain | Brady Boyd

[00:00:00] This podcast is a part of CG and Media, a podcast network that points to Christ. We are supported by listeners like you to help us create more great shows visit cgandmedia.org slash support. Well today on the Leadership Collective Podcast we have Brady Boyd on our program.

[00:00:18] He is the Senior Pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs. Brady took over New Life Church after the TED Haggerd scandal and had to navigate through quite a lot of Church Pain. And that's our topic for today.

[00:00:36] We're going to be looking at the subject of Church Pain, Leadership Pain in particular and how to navigate the pain and the difficulties of leadership. TED, this is such a pertinent topic today because I don't know a pastor who isn't dealing with some type of leadership.

[00:00:55] Pain because of the burdens we carry, the things that we deal with, the weight that is on the shoulders of a senior pastor. A book I really really like to recommend is Leadership Pain by Samuel Chan

[00:01:10] and you know I mean every chapter is just filled with these stories of you know situations that guys have gone through that I think all of us could read and go oh gone through that one.

[00:01:21] Been through that one and it's so wonderful and I think this is part of the heart of our podcast today. It's so wonderful to know you're not alone, you know in the pain that we're going through.

[00:01:31] So I'm really excited to have Brady on the show today and just hear how he navigated some of the things that he went through. Yeah as am I and as we're going to see Leadership Pain goes beyond the extraordinary

[00:01:47] as certainly Brady has some extraordinary painful situations that he's had to navigate. But it goes to some particular things that maybe are a little bit more common that everybody's been through.

[00:02:04] But even so there's wisdom for us and how to navigate that pain, how that pain can inform our ministries and what comes out of that pain which is really beautiful thing if we will submit and surrender to the work of the Lord's doing.

[00:02:20] And so there's lots to see here. Yeah, amen. The Lord is definitely one who can take beauty from the ashes. And so let's get into it. So now here's our episode with Pastor Brady Boyd. Hey welcome to the program Brady.

[00:02:36] It was so good to be with you guys. I love talking leadership. I love what you guys are doing and I appreciate you having me on today. That's great. We're really excited to have you on and Brady just for our listeners who may be unfamiliar with you.

[00:02:50] Why don't you just give us a little bit of backstory on, you know, your ministry and particularly how you came to new life church there in Colorado.

[00:03:03] Coming up on my 17th year of the senior pastor and new life church in Colorado Springs of a fantastic church. Good people. I just so blast to be a part of this congregation.

[00:03:14] But I came here in August of 2007, I was serving at Gateway Church with Robert Morris there in the Dallas Fort Worth area.

[00:03:22] And as you know, maybe maybe not new life church back in 2006 had gone through an epic moral failure from their founding pastor. It was on the front page of every newspaper.

[00:03:34] The lead story of every broadcast internationally for several days and I never been on the campus of new life. I didn't know anyone here but I was in Dallas Fort Worth and I remember on a Friday morning the news broke on a Thursday night.

[00:03:49] In November of 2006, I woke up on that Friday morning and opened up my laptop. And there was a story and for whatever reason.

[00:03:59] I was emotional when I read the story. It was kind of I was heartbroken over the news that another famous influential senior pastor had had a moral failure that the congregation was really they were heartbroken and sad.

[00:04:13] And at the time I didn't know why that story affected me the way it did. But it had an emotional impact on me that morning to the point where I was in tears and fast forward in the following summer they contacted me and I went through an interview process in an August of 2007.

[00:04:32] They voted me as the second pastor in the history of the church and here I am 17 years later serving as the senior pastor the church.

[00:04:42] Part two of that story is when I got here in August of 2007. On my 100th day as senior pastor I'd been here three months. Jack Hayford was a guest speaker for me that morning and December the 9th 2007 day 100 of my tenure.

[00:05:00] On arm to gunmen came on to our campus open fire with an automatic assault weapon killed two teenage girls and my parking lot wounded their father injured some other people came into my children's classroom came inside our building.

[00:05:14] With a thousand rounds of ammunition and smoke grenades and open fire and our hallway a very heroic security guard stopped him. He then ended his life in my children's hallway so in a span of 13 months.

[00:05:30] The new life church had the moral failure epic moral failure of a famous founding senior pastor front page of every newspaper lead story of every broadcast. 13 months later we're on the front page of every newspaper for a very different reason violence on our campus.

[00:05:46] So when you talk about leadership pain and leadership, leadership challenges we have gone through it to my surprise quite honestly when that happened on my 100th day I was sitting in the back of a police car trying to warm up about to greet the media and answer question.

[00:06:04] And I leaned over to a young pastor that was on our staff and I said maybe this is the reason I came to new life church to be a hospice pastor to give a one to great church and honorable death.

[00:06:14] Honestly, that's what we have felt I felt well there's no way we're going to recover from a moral failure and in 13 months later we have graphic epic violence break out on our campus.

[00:06:26] There's no way in the world as church is you ever going to recover it's grander is never going to get back to its mission.

[00:06:32] It's never going to be able to serve the city in the way it was originally founded and I just really had no hope for anything to go well after that into my surprise guys.

[00:06:44] And I guess I feel bad about saying I'm surprised by resurrection. I mean we are resurrection people right I mean the resurrection is at the center of our story but to my surprise the church resurrected it took several years.

[00:06:58] But the church is now healthier than has ever been reaching more people than has ever reached us and just really enjoying the blessings of God on every, every part of the church we're not perfect we still are broken people you know and but.

[00:07:12] But I just him I'm just so encouraged by where we are now compared to where we were 17 years ago just unbelievable what the Lord has done among us. Praise God. Man that's quite a story.

[00:07:28] When you back back up just a little bit so when you took over the church after the moral failure what was a hundred days before the shooting. What was the general atmosphere when you first arrived and the challenges that you faced there and then I guess I would.

[00:07:49] I would color that question with with this follow up question which is what what was the what changed after the event that you just described for us and your challenges after that.

[00:08:03] Well that's a good question. I you know obviously all leadership the currency of all leadership is trust and when I came to new life church there was little or no trust.

[00:08:13] And senior leadership because of the moral failure and I knew that I had quite a task on my hands if I were going to rebuild trust and I've told thousands of pastors in the last 17 years what I'm about to tell you and that there's no shortcuts to earning trust.

[00:08:29] Trust is earned in one way and one way only and that's doing the right thing for the right reason for a very long time.

[00:08:35] And I knew that the only way that I would be able to lead the church forward is to do the right thing for the right reason for a really long time.

[00:08:43] I knew it was going to take four or five years be just pastoring them you know so hung up my prophetic hat my apostolic hat my entrepreneurial had a they didn't need that they didn't need an entrepreneur that didn't need a leadership guru they didn't need a prophetic apostolic voice necessarily what they needed was a shepherd and a pastor.

[00:09:03] So I decided that's what I was going to do up preach pastoral messages. I preached about Jesus and is that what he said to his disciples we concentrated on the Psalms proper just if the pastoral letters of Paul.

[00:09:16] That's where we focus because I knew the church had to heal you can't you can't move forward if you're wounded.

[00:09:23] And a lot of churches are trying to move a wounded people to another place and they're wondering why their church is not following them because they're limping their herd they're wounded.

[00:09:33] And a lot of pastors get impatient with that process and move way too quickly especially when they take over a new church they're eager to put their stamp on a congregation to you know put their imprint their brand on the congregation when that's not necessarily always wise.

[00:09:49] Most of the tournament a church needs a lot of time to heal to earn trust and then when they trust you and like you which sometimes goes along together they don't even like you yet.

[00:09:59] I'm not really thinking of this lady walking into my office I've been there a couple years and she said one of the most profound things to me she said pastor Brady you are stepdad.

[00:10:10] We love you we like you but you're still stepdad to us our our father left us our father abandoned us and then you showed up and you're trying to be dad. time at some point we'll call you dad but right now you

[00:10:25] stepped that and she wasn't being mean about that. She was actually very kind to me and she was trying to help me and as a 40 year old pastor I was just a young guy I was 40 and I said or thank you so much that helped my

[00:10:37] perspective because I've been wondering why y'all don't like me I'm a likable guy and I still don't like me. But over time I think the thing that I did I made some mistakes for sure. But the thing that I did that I look back on

[00:10:52] Ron Realize the Lord was giving me wisdom. Was I slow down? I took a deep breath. I didn't get in a hurry and I just tried everything I knew I tried to tell the church the truth about everything as often as I could I told them the hard

[00:11:05] truth that I think our church can take more information than we think they can and in fact a lot of times when churches go through difficult times it's I think it's exacerbated quite honestly by the dishonesty or misinformation

[00:11:19] coming from the pulpit we're seeing that in a couple of situations now across America where you know it's not the it's not the crime necessarily that's hurting your church is the cover up and so tell the church the truth tell them

[00:11:32] as much truth as you can tell them we obviously know you can't tell every detail sometimes but tell them more than you think you should because I think the church over time will trust that and honor that and they'll realize that you're being honest

[00:11:45] with them that you're being sincere with them and I did that early on I had some trusted advisors that gave me that advice that Brady you have nothing to lose the church is going to die anyway if you don't if you don't tell them the truth

[00:11:57] and so I said why have nothing to lose here's what happened here's what's going on here's what we're going to do about it and over time I earned their trust did you have any surprises

[00:12:06] as you did that I did I did I had an older man one time tell me he said there's gonna be three groups of people when you come to the church three groups of people will greet you the first

[00:12:17] group he says will be a people that love you they trust you you're there pastor so they're going to trust everything you say he said that that's a good group and then and you need to hang out

[00:12:27] with them because they will encourage you he says there's a second group that want to trust you but they're going to make you earn it he said don't be impatient with that group people give them time

[00:12:36] read a five years after you get there they will be your best friends and that's proven to be true but then he gave me some great advice he says there's a third group of people there who will never

[00:12:46] trust another senior leader and you have listen you can't do anything to fix that he said they they probably will leave they may come back years later and that's been true he said but you didn't cause their harm

[00:12:58] and you're not going to be the source of their healing and you need to don't don't feel bad when they leave your church it's not your fault and I thought man that was a good advice and I I have found all three

[00:13:10] groups of people were there when I got there and I I told a pastor the other day he's going through a hard time and it's a it's a really well known church if I told you the name of the church you would know it

[00:13:21] but he's this he's followed up after a scandal I really really big church and he he said he's been there three and a half years and he said pastor Brady when is it going to feel better I said I don't know

[00:13:34] what I'm going to go better I have okay I wish I could answer that question and he was what he was doing he was he was kind of seeking out some kind of formula and I said I don't really have any formula here's what I do

[00:13:45] know right now I said you're eating fruit from trees that you did not plant I said so you need to plant good seeds today because over time those those those trees will bear fruit and you'll eat fruit from trees that you did

[00:13:58] plant I said right now nothing I can do for you're going to have to eat all the fruit from trees that you didn't plant and I apologize I have two cats in my house and they're both who decided to be really loud here in the last second

[00:14:09] book if you're hearing these loud cats behind me they they think they're jealous and I'm talking to you and not paying attention to them so they're just they're being bad right now no worries hey I want to just kind of segue the

[00:14:23] conversation a little bit and this is it's time some in love for us all to discuss here but you know Brady most pastors haven't gone through you know the type of situations that that you did I mean those are two

[00:14:38] kind of big crazy things I'm back I don't I personally don't know any other pastor who is had a shooting at his church but let's talk for a minute about what are some of the things that you see because you know Ted and I we both do

[00:14:55] mentorship with other pastors like you and and so what are some of the main pain points that you guys see pastors dealing with right now Ted what would be some of the the main things that you see guys are dealing with right now

[00:15:10] well I mean this the standard things that we might think of which pale and comparison to those that Brady's gone through certainly but everybody knows the the experience of betrayal everybody knows the the the wounding that takes place when you walk with a family or a couple

[00:15:34] or an individual for you know 10 20 30 years and then they choose to believe the best about you or your intentions those those leave a mark those are particularly painful even self inflicted wounds you know we we don't always make the best decisions

[00:15:56] and sometimes people aren't willing to give us the benefit of the doubt you know when we when we've made a bad decision and that can be particularly painful as well those are things that come

[00:16:09] immediately to my mind what about you Brady what are some of the things that you see a lot of guys dealing with today I agree with everything you said I would I don't have a lot to add to that I think

[00:16:18] a lot of pastors are seeking out things that are better that we were never meant to seek out I think of pastors are trying to become well known instead of just being faithful to their congregation that especially among younger pastors right now I've had this conversation with my

[00:16:36] own team I said something the other day in a staff meeting and I'd love to hear you I'd love to hear your response to this because I'm not sure that I have fleshed it out completely but I'd love to hear

[00:16:45] your response to this and I don't even know who said it was somebody famous in old that said this you're 100 years ago a dead guy yeah the dead guy said this he said the goal in life is to

[00:16:57] preach the gospel faithfully and passionately to be loved by your spouse admired by your children to die on old deaths surrounded by friends and be forgotten I thought man a bad that would

[00:17:13] solve most of our problems in the American church if those were our goals is just reach the gospel faithfully and passionately be a love your spouse be faithful to your spouse be admired by your children

[00:17:25] die as an old person surrounded by close friends and be forgotten and not not necessarily forgotten by your family obviously you're leaving a legacy for your children and grandchildren

[00:17:35] but I'm gonna say the goal of life is not to have statutes built in our honor it's not for our name to outlast us we're here for something greater than ourselves and I think that's a big concern

[00:17:46] right now is the ambition to be known and to be fame to you know to build a platform of some kind of brand I see a lot of young shock jocks out there right now a lot of young pastors saying

[00:18:00] outlandish things to get attention I think that's a real problem in our culture and you know we're three old guys here and maybe we can help that next generation by showing them how to live out

[00:18:10] along an honorable life and there's not a lot of us finishing well I mean there's there's there's there's a lot of 60 and 70 year old pastors that are not getting across the finish line in a good

[00:18:20] way and that's kind of my goal right now is that he's seven years old as a get across the finish line in a good way and to be honorable at the end so I'm concerned about that yeah amen you know

[00:18:32] I agree with that and I think one of the things that we sometimes failed to realize and even understand is you know should the Lord Terry 100 years from now people in new life are not going

[00:18:43] to be talking about Brady Boyd and people at CareCowriVist are not gonna I'm gonna remember my name and so the idea of being forgotten is really a reality is we're gonna be you know forgotten

[00:18:56] but it's the fruit that can live on and I think that's you know to me it really boils down to the idea of being faithful and that was one of the things I was actually talking with our staff about today

[00:19:11] is you know we were talking about the fear of failure and and I was encouraging them to not be afraid to take steps of faith and I said to me the biggest failure is to not take a step it's to not try

[00:19:26] and you know the thing that the Lord is looking for the most you know he's looking for an asture does what that he would be found faithful and you know that that's where I'm wanting to

[00:19:36] to end my mark is I just want to be faithful to you know my family my bride and this precious church that the Lord is allowed me to be the pastor of and and I think that is all summed up in my

[00:19:50] desire to be faithful to him. Well we're all at the end of the day we're all interim pastors right I mean the church is going to go on without us and I actually was talking to a pastor not

[00:20:01] long ago who has he's been retired now from his church for three or four years and he goes Brady I still attend the church I pastor the church for 30 years I've been out of the pulpit kind of

[00:20:11] semi-retired for four or five years he said I can walk in the lobby now no one knows who I am. Wow I can walk through the lobby and nobody will even recognize me and he said he says in

[00:20:23] some ways he said the first few times at that happened it really hurt my feelings and that he said we are all interim pastors and it doesn't belong to us. I think I was really

[00:20:35] refreshing I thought that that's a good perspective. That's remarked why I have two two thoughts in response to that one is how did he pull it off that's awesome and then the other response

[00:20:44] I was talking to someone I wish I could remember who it was but Pastor who had pastored for years rather large congregation and when he had left he said it wasn't long before

[00:20:58] I was saying to myself look what they've done to my song. It was just tearing him apart you know new leader new vision but over time got faithful the wisdom that of the of the spirit given to a new

[00:21:16] leader for a new direction for a new season of fruit for as you described earlier Brady planning your own seats and have room for the music and be faithful with the seed of the words

[00:21:28] putting your hands and it does take a long time you guys how long of you guys been pastoring and tell me the length of time that you've been pastoring your current congregation and how long

[00:21:37] you've been a ministry overall. I'll start my current congregation is 17 years and overall has been almost 32 years and for me current congregation is 27 and a half years and total time and ministry 38 years. Wow that's amazing guys yeah 26 years overall for me and in 17 here at new life

[00:22:03] spirit but the reason I bring it up is that I think I think when we talk about longevity I would love to hear from you two guys to throw some questions back at you. When you look at

[00:22:13] that length of time why does it allow you to stay in one congregation that long when I hear this from a lot of young pastors they don't see a path forward to stay in a congregation

[00:22:24] that long because it's so painful and how do you manage the aches and pains of ministry instead in your congregation that long? For me it sounds like a cop out answer but it's genuinely the truth.

[00:22:42] My sense of calling here to this flock is strong and I can't get away from that. So we are very much a church planting church we're passionate about it and I have a passion

[00:22:59] to plant in a particular geographic area and have for years and years and have entertained the thought of gosh maybe I should pioneer this next plant but the Lord hasn't given me the

[00:23:11] permission to do that and so I've just dismissed it and said okay I'm and you know part of that too is that the profound joy that I have in with you know in my current place it's like

[00:23:26] I just can't imagine leaving. So I live by curiously through the people we send out to plant church. You know for me it's interesting I'm sure you're familiar with the book Leadership Pain by Sam Nielchann and I read that book about a year or so ago and I

[00:23:46] felt like I could have written like every chapter in the book because I feel like I experience so much of that and a big part is going to have a long answer to your question but

[00:23:58] you know I went through this two and a half year period that was really really challenging and it started with a building project that we were embarking on. We spent six years trying to get

[00:24:15] our approval from the city finally got it we were about 500,000 away from breaking ground when the crash happened in 2008 and it radically affected our church I mean we had so many people that lost their jobs lost their homes and are giving declined dramatically

[00:24:35] and so our shortfall went from 500,000 to over a million dollars and we and that we were stuck and so we weren't able to break ground on the property at the same time I had some staff

[00:24:52] tension that was brewing and kind of a key leader who was kind of going rogue and really had the potential for a church split to take place and then because of the crash as well our school

[00:25:06] that we had on our campus which we had 360 students it the enrollment was cut in half at that time and so we had a dying school, a dying building project, tension in the staff and then at the

[00:25:19] very same time my father who was my hero had a stroke and so every day I had to go to my dad's house get him out of bed, get him in the shower, get him to the couch he just couldn't move he was

[00:25:34] so emotional and so all of this was going on at the same time and it lasted about two and a half years and it was interesting because during that time I had several churches that reached out to

[00:25:47] me wanting to know if I wanted to come and be their pastor because they needed somebody to fill in but it was exactly what Ted said that sense of calling that God had called me here and especially

[00:26:00] during that time it was like how could I abandon this body during this season and that's what really kept me in that place and has kept me just that sense of knowing that you know this is

[00:26:15] where God has me and I love this church, I love these people, I love this community, I do believe that we should always keep our bags packed and always be ready and willing if

[00:26:27] God were to say I've got a new assignment for you but I think what I see a lot of guys doing Brady especially younger guys is they think that the the grass is greener somewhere else and so

[00:26:42] they're always looking for the next new thing or the next big thing or and there isn't that sense of of calling in that sense of you know contentment and I think as you know pastors and leaders we need to

[00:26:58] we're called you know we had we're called to have vision but at the same time we're called to be content and I think you know having vision and being content is you know I'm content with where God has

[00:27:10] me and what he's doing but my vision is is I'm always wanting God to do more and um and I just want to stay one step behind him in that but that's how I've navigated you know that how about yourself

[00:27:26] well I loved Eugene Peterson's definition of discipleship he calls it a long obedience in the same direction and I yeah I applied both of you guys for just having a long obedience in the same

[00:27:37] direction of staying steady and faithful at but at the same time not losing your holy ambition the vision that God's giving you to grow and to reach people and you know for me I told someone

[00:27:48] the other day that pastoral ministry is like a hundred chihuahas didn't nipping at your hills that you know not one of those chihuahas will not kill you the only way you would die as if they got

[00:27:59] organized but they had some kind that's the way pastoral ministry builds right I tell you this went story real quick story there was a Sunday morning a few years ago where we had an unbelievable number of baptism we had you know we we had announced several weeks before

[00:28:17] we were going baptized people on this Sunday and we baptized north of 150 people that Sunday morning it was unbelievable people coming into the baptismal take I mean crying salvation breaking out all over the place it was one of the Sundays mornings that makes all those chihuahua

[00:28:33] attack worthwhile right all those little nipping criticism so I am walking out to my vehicle I cannot be more excited about pastoral ministry in that moment than I am at that right then okay

[00:28:47] I get out to my vehicle and this is no joke I turn my vehicle on my phone rings it's a pastor in town that had just been called in by his elders and fired on the spot he's a good friend of mine and

[00:29:01] I went what in the world happened and he's my age and he's a good friend of mine he is sobbing because he's been so poorly treated by his leadership and so I think

[00:29:12] sometimes the ebb and flow of our emotions like this this is probably what we call a Wednesday right I mean we were celebrating the birth of a baby in our church and we're going to a funeral to

[00:29:23] bury a deer saint later that after yeah yeah that's actually happened to me more than on one day like I'm celebrating something epic a huge win and at the same time I am in the darkest place

[00:29:35] a matchable with another human being where I had to help them overcome something and I think managing and knowing how to refuel your emotions of making sure those tanks the proper tanks day fall in our lives I think that's the big challenge for pastoral ministry because most people

[00:29:51] can't deal with that kind of a sway of emotions in an only daily basis right totally and that's one of the things I wanted to ask both of you guys is you know just playing off what you just said

[00:30:03] you know when I went through that two and a half year period one of the things that happened to me that I didn't know it at the time but I discovered it later was that I had grown um and just

[00:30:15] through the pain and the difficulty and then when you talk about like what you just mentioned Brady that we go through these big highs and big lows and we're dealing with and carrying

[00:30:27] you know some heavy situations whether it's you know in your own staff or the people on the body how have you guys kept an an avoided growing numb in your hearts? Ted what let's spend your process

[00:30:43] Well I think if we're honest we do become none to a certain extent and I well and you had asked me before before we began taping the program my experience in the fire department right and

[00:30:58] if you know I had experienced that as a paramedic and yeah in fact we did it intentionally we would numb ourselves to things we would bury things and but but that becomes toxic over time

[00:31:13] and you you actually do have to deal with it and that's where I like the second part of your question which is how do we avoid not being defined by our pain you know and you know and

[00:31:25] you know I in thinking about that I would say this that we spend our lives contextualizing the gospel for other people and we preach the gospel the gospel message that Jesus was assaulted Jesus was beaten Jesus was abused he was ultimately murdered and Hebrews four 15 tells us that

[00:31:47] Jesus understands our weaknesses for he faced all of the same things the same testing that we did Yet he did not send and the good news that we preached to others dealing with the pain of betrayal

[00:32:01] or abuse in our day is that hey we worship a God who himself identifies not just with specific suffering but with their suffering and not only does he identify with them but the Bible tells us

[00:32:15] that he covers their shame and he cleanses their sin and he makes some clean and righteous in the sight and he gives them a new name and he gives them a new identity and so no longer are they

[00:32:25] defined by what their abusers did to them but what their Savior did for them and so you know as we spend our lives contextualizing the gospel for other people in that way we have to preach to ourselves

[00:32:39] and we have to practice what we preach and we we have to let the gospel speak to our abuses and pains and wounds in the exact same way so that we're not defined by our pain we're defined

[00:32:54] by what our Savior did. I love for us. I love that. I think the airline added the you know the airlines have it right put on your own mask before you try to assist someone else

[00:33:03] and I think that we'll be able to do that sometimes when I turned 50 years old up 57 now but when I'm on my 50th birthday I had this pretty powerful moment with the Lord and I woke up really

[00:33:15] early that morning on my birthday and it was you know that's a pretty monumental birthday your half a century old and I was feeling at that morning like man I think I'm I think I'm past half five

[00:33:25] I think I'm in the third quarter maybe right maybe late late third quarter even you know who knows but I I was sitting there and the Lord reminded me of a 17 hundred year old prayer that the church has been

[00:33:37] praying for 17 hundred years and it's a three-word prayer and he reminded me that morning and the prayer is this calm Holy Spirit and it's just a simple cry of your heart and when I first said this to my

[00:33:50] church a lot of people argued with being you know they wanted to get into a theological argument with being I said listen I'm not praying that prayer every morning because I think the Holy Spirit

[00:33:59] abandoned me in the middle of the night I'm having a begging to come back that prayer is for me that prayer is to remind me of how much I need the Holy Spirit it's not that the Holy Spirit needs

[00:34:09] reminding and so the prayer is for yourself and so I've been for the last seven and a half years every morning before I check my cell phone before I or I get out of bed I just say that prayer

[00:34:21] and I say it sincerely I don't know what today holds but come Holy Spirit and for me something begin to shift in my anxieties some of the burdens that are recurring when you start your day

[00:34:35] by welcoming the whole the work of the Holy Spirit the person the power the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life it it has radically altered some of my stress levels and help me see things clearly it's

[00:34:49] helped me navigate things with maybe wisdom that I didn't have on my own and that three-word prayer my whole church phrase it now I've been talking to them about this for seven years now and and people

[00:34:59] in my church I can't tell you hundreds of people have told me that they're praying that prayer when they wake up in the morning and how different their lives have become one day started doing that and

[00:35:09] so I think that's that's been something the Lord used to help me. I love that I love that you know one of my life versus is Matthew 5 3 bless sort of the porn spirit for theirs is the kingdom of

[00:35:22] heaven and I think about that idea being porn spirit is realizing our utter dependency upon Jesus for everything and I think that's what you're saying is that you know a daily just come Holy

[00:35:34] Spirit like I need you I can't do this on my own that's so that's beautiful. I want to ask you guys this question you know we've all been assistance before we were lead pastors and you know

[00:35:49] we know you there's a certain weight there's a certain burden that we carry as lead pastors and you know there's a weight that we didn't have when we were assistance when we were youth pastors so my question because we have you know youth pastors assistant pastors elders who

[00:36:09] listen to this program what would you say what would you guys say to you know those assistant pastors those elders of what could help them to better understand what their lead pastor

[00:36:25] what their senior pastor is going through and how they could better help them. I remember as a young 22 year old youth pastor going into my senior pastor's office one day and he just seemed

[00:36:39] look like he'd gone you know nine rounds with Mike Tyson he just looked all beat up and and I was like questioning like what's wrong with you and I was just all excited you know about my

[00:36:49] devotions about the Lord and I remember him saying to me Rob you just wait till you're a senior pastor and I just I like rushed it off like oh you don't know what you're talking about

[00:36:57] I didn't say that but I was thinking it and boy was he right you know so what would you guys say to the assistant pastor listening of how they can you know better understand better come along

[00:37:10] side their lead pastor in helping deal with his pain and wait. Well there is a difference between signing the front of the check and signing the back of the check and there is a big difference

[00:37:25] and I tell I just tell my team said listen you the main thing is let's let's stay in real relationship with one another learn how to build a significant relationships because those relationships

[00:37:37] I so many other day asking he said hey what's that you know give me some leadership advice give me some leadership that he was looking for again secret formulas the magic sauce and I was at the

[00:37:47] said listen if you have high relationships on your staff you don't have to be complicated with your procedures and processes in fact the only reason you have to be complicated with your procedures

[00:37:58] in processes is when you don't have relationships and trust and I would just say to staff build good relationships build don't don't be so ambitious that you look past the people that are

[00:38:10] around you learn how to build friendships learn how to be a good friend learn how to be a good listener learn how to ask good questions every time you go to lunch or have a meeting with your senior

[00:38:22] pastor come in there with some questions written down to show him that you thought about this meeting that you have interest in his advice that you want to learn from him and that you that you care

[00:38:33] about him in fact let me ask you but guys it does how many times do you meet with other people this happens to me all the time where I am the one asking them how they are doing how are you doing

[00:38:44] how's your family how is your health rarely I mean it is rare that someone looks back at me and says pastor Brady tell me how you're doing how are you in pain how are your kids and so when

[00:38:56] you I just say it means the world to make quite honestly when someone asks me that now it's like right everyone just assumes that my life is perfect or I don't have any problems and it's actually

[00:39:06] super refreshing to me when they take interest in me as a human being and don't see me as their boss and back I don't let people call me boss I hate that don't call me boss call me pastor Brady if you

[00:39:17] want don't call me you know bishop or anything you know it means I just call me the pastor Brady and let this learn to love each other and be in relationship with each other and then most of the

[00:39:28] other problems on staff tend to go away after that yeah yeah I love that I and you know it is true your statement that it's a whole lot different to sign the front of the check versus the back

[00:39:38] the check because you know what I think of when you was thinking of when you said that was that I you know the the context of which I led prior to being the founding pastor here

[00:39:56] was in a in a supporting role as an executive pastor and because of the way that operations ran there I I felt like I ran everything so I thought well I know what it is to be senior pastor and the

[00:40:10] fact of the matter was I didn't have a clue I didn't have a clue and and the the little church that I planted in comparison to the big church that I left shoot me up and spit me out

[00:40:25] so so on the one hand I would say that there's just no way to to know until until you're in those shoes but I love your answer radio about asking questions I praying for for our pastors

[00:40:41] earnestly is is very helpful I love the idea of asking the pastor questions about what's burning you for what are some what are some things that I can pray for you for that helps you get an insight into the things that they're they're struggling with

[00:40:59] but yeah but to a large extent you will never know until you're in that position yeah yeah and I agree with that for heartily I love it when you know guys will ask me that I work with

[00:41:13] that are on my team you know hey how kind of you praying for you that means the world to me and I wish I would have done that you know so much more when I was assisting you know my pastor so often

[00:41:25] I looked at it like he's got you know his ministry with the adults I've got my ministry with the kids and we're kind of doing this together and and I had no idea the weight that he was carrying

[00:41:35] and one thing is I I love to encourage young pastors to do what they're senior pastor too is just to and it'd be sincere but try to pick a couple of things out of the message you know on a Sunday

[00:41:50] and just let him know hey this really minister to me I was really blessed by you know that point or I was really encouraged by that because I think sometimes you know a senior pastor can

[00:42:02] almost be like a mom who makes dinner every single night and the family just becomes you know you just get used to it you know and it's they don't every single night they're like oh

[00:42:14] mom that was amazing that was so good you know it's like oh thanks mom you know kind of a thing and but it means a lot you know when I think senior pastors can get that encouragement especially

[00:42:27] from guys they're working with that hey I know the time the effort that you put into you know that and yeah I love that point it really ministered to me so I really I think that goes a

[00:42:39] long way and then even asking like hey is there anything I can help you carry right now I love seeing guys that that work with me that are are looking for looking to take initiative in things

[00:42:56] and are willing to carry a little bit of extra weight you know on something I think that's that's huge so good well I would just say that these I mean we I was going to ask you this question are you

[00:43:09] guys concerned at all when you look across the landscape thinking about young leaders and pastors I was just having this conversation yesterday about the the lack of young men and women who are saying

[00:43:22] yes to pastoral ministry right now I heard this report not long ago that we're that our generation when we retire and that will happen at some point that coming behind us is a really a noticeable

[00:43:33] lack of young men and women who were saying yes to pastoral ministry and ministry in general do you see that as a concern and what do you think we should be doing about it?

[00:43:43] I do see it as a concern and I I think that what we need to be doing is is we address that starting with the children and our children's ministry that's where we that's where we begin

[00:43:57] addressing it putting an emphasis into helping children discover the unique ways that God's created them and how they can use their experiences in their gifts in service to the Lord and

[00:44:13] actually giving them a you know a track to run their train on so to speak and and if if you do that in every stage of advancement with you with the kids in your church then what's going to happen is

[00:44:28] there are those that are called into ministry vocationally are going to discover that along the path and along the way we've been doing that here at reliance and you know the the guy

[00:44:43] that's probably going to be our next ordained pastor was at one time in our children's ministry and invited to serve the Lord so that's cool yeah I definitely see that as a concern and an issue

[00:44:57] and you know in our movement Brady Ted Nyer part of the Coward Chapel movement and you know back in their early days when Cowardry started in fact they made a movie that they they gave it

[00:45:08] this title a venture of faith and that was you just saw all these young guys with a sense of reckless abandonment you know I just want to go serve Jesus and I'm not worried about a paycheck

[00:45:20] I'm not worried about I just want I just want God to use me and God did some incredible things with so many of them and I see a lack of that in the younger generation today that you know they're so

[00:45:33] concerned about you know the the paycheck and living comfortably and and that sort of thing and so I see I've seen them in the last 10 maybe 15 years so much of a lack of desire of

[00:45:52] guys that want to go out and plant or even go into ministry period a lot of ladies when I love girls that want to go into ministry but not a lot of guys and I just I would wonder your thoughts

[00:46:05] on that if why do you think there is a void right now? Well I think I remember growing up and we would go to these prayer meetings and even on Sunday mornings I remember a lot of times

[00:46:18] that my pastor would say hey some of you are called into vocational ministry and I want to recognize that I want you to pray over it I want if you feel called a pastoral ministry come forward

[00:46:28] let us pray for you and it was actually a part of the altar call a lot of times like some of you need to say yes to the call and I think we've gotten out of the habit of stirring that up in people's

[00:46:38] hearts of telling young men and women that this is an option that God made very well be placing the call a pastoral ministry on your life and we need to recognize that we need to see it in them

[00:46:48] and call it out of them and it's a life worth living and a model a better way of living and I think that's part of it and we're doing we're very intentional as well we back this morning

[00:47:03] and a meeting we sat down and I wanted to list of young leaders on my staff that I thought had potential to be senior leaders who could be senior pastors and we wrote down a list and said well let's

[00:47:16] watch them let's mentor them let's coach them let's let's let's pay attention to what God's doing in their lives and we're not going to play something all on the God has in place to on them but if we

[00:47:27] see that God's doing something in their lives let's you know with all of the epa strength that we have let's just give them all they need to succeed and I think that's something we need to be intentional about

[00:47:39] well guys I hate to bail out on a great conversation I've got to go to I have a great group of elders and tonight is our elders meeting and actually it's a meeting I look forward to but I really

[00:47:50] really enjoyed this conversation with you guys and let's do it again right on thanks for ready we love having you on and if you could just one last question next month we're

[00:48:01] having Sean Morgan on the show and I know he's a good friend of yours for those who aren't familiar with Sean and his ministry what would you say about Sean and why people should tune in to that

[00:48:11] episode Sean Morgan is the leader of this call organization called a sent leadership I have been partnering with him for six and a half years mentoring pastors around the country Sean Morgan is a

[00:48:24] leader of leaders he's like a pastor whisper he's that he knows everyone connects everyone with everyone he is genuine he is honest he is kind he's super smart he's really strategic he's a partner

[00:48:38] a friend someone that I admire and respect immensely and again I work closely with him now for six and a half years so I can attest to his character and he is he is a real I mean a real source of

[00:48:51] help to pastors who are going through all kinds of issues and struggles transitions I recommend him absolutely to the falls also thanks so much Brady and thanks for being with us today thank you

[00:49:03] for being god bless you you guys well that wraps up our show for today what a great episode with Pastor Brady void and we're really looking forward to next month with Sean Morgan and Tyler Scott

[00:49:19] and we're going to be talking about the subject of integrity in leadership in ministry and just what that looks like how you foster it how you keep it and what are some of the reasons

[00:49:32] why we've seen people fall and a lot of times it boils down to a breakdown in the area of integrity so that'll be on the leadership collective next month and we look forward to having you join us for

[00:49:47] that and if this show has been a blessing to you would you please like it subscribe and share it with your friends and once again we just love bringing this content to you and we'll see you next time on the leadership collective