Trish Kulcsar Part 3

[00:00:04] Welcome to Women Worth Knowing, the radio program and podcast hosted by Cheryl Brodersen and Robin Jones Gunn So Robin and I are so excited to have you join us for Part 3 as we interview our good friend Trish Kulcsar And I am so excited because, you know, I've heard bits and pieces of your story And I happen to know, this is just kind of a spoil alert to the listeners

[00:00:31] That you are in the process of actually writing the story of your present husband, Laszlo, who happens to be Hungarian And if we have time, we'll get into a little bit of that, just how you met But right now we're on husband number one who has been super abusive and has succumbed now to colon cancer It's gone into his bladder, he's on hospice You guys are going to reject, you've got it all planned out

[00:00:59] You've got your scripts for each other of how you will usher the chaplain with the hospice out of the house And instead you are compelled by the story of Jesus and by his loving demeanor to listen to the gospel And you both secretly receive the Lord without telling each other because of the fear of rejection And there's a long history of abuse there and fights

[00:01:27] And now you've both accepted the Lord and the Lord gives you this seven-month reprieve Where you get to grow together in the Lord and see the transforming effects of the Lord Jesus So you've been with him for seven months Now during that time, did he grow weaker and weaker? His name was Alex Right Yeah, so I think about a month after he was given an invitation to be moved into a hospice center

[00:01:55] And this was near Manchester And it was funded by donations of people So it's not government funded And there's only 30 beds It's like a circular building and everybody gets a private room And at the very center is a sanctuary Wow That was for religious, you know, congregations And it was supposed to be inter-denominational

[00:02:24] But there was a very strong Catholic presence A lot of the nurses were Catholic Some of the doctors that were visiting there were Catholic And so morning and evening So he accepted that invitation So I actually didn't want to live alone in the house So I asked, would it be possible that I could move in with him? They said, well, we can't put another bed in there But we have a futon for you

[00:02:52] So I was able to sleep in a futon next to his hospital bed And this is the man that you wanted to leave at one point Exactly And now you're in the room On a futon How old are you? Like 25? Yeah, 26 23 23? Yeah Oh 23 Trish So much big life stuff Yes At this young age Yeah Yeah So we moved together Me into my futon bed

[00:03:22] And I would take trips back and forth to the house Like a couple of times a week To get fresh clothing You know, it was like you couldn't store a lot of things there And he didn't really need it It was mostly in a hospital gown So for myself And to check on the house You know, my mother's house While she was in Australia still Because she'd gone there to see the two of you That's right She'd gone there with Paul Who actually used to live in Australia So he was eager to show her Oh, right He was just fine

[00:03:51] They were fine His stories Yeah, they were doing fine And so, you know He was declining And sleeping a lot And morning and evening I was going to say that the nurses A group of them that started the shift Would come around with Like a laminated page of prayers It was like pick a prayer You know, you could choose What prayer you wanted them to say over you As they visited room to room Wow

[00:04:21] And each room had a double door Patio door to these beautiful gardens outside And if you wanted to If you couldn't If you were bed bound You could wheel the bed out onto the patio To be outside And how remarkable in the 70s Well, and remarkable for England too Especially when you're talking about Hospitalization in England This is bar none Yeah, so this is now in the 80s We're now in the 80s We're now in the 80s

[00:04:50] Nonetheless, that is pretty remarkable To have such a great Saint Anne's Hospice And it was so beautiful It was so, so beautiful And I felt the presence of the Lord And I was defouring the Word of God Like, you know, it was Taste and see I couldn't read enough It would be chapters and chapters and chapters per day And it was alive The Holy Spirit had brought this book of words from God

[00:05:20] Alive into my spirit that I wanted to live it out So I remember a little side story of when I reached the book of Acts That I thought, baptism? Baptism? What's baptism? Baptism isn't when you baptize as a baby Baptism is when you say, I believe in Jesus And you know what you're believing in And then you were identifying with his death and resurrection

[00:05:48] I was like, and then some of these people are filled with the Holy Spirit In a full way That they're baptized with the Holy Spirit I want all of that, Lord How can we do that? So one evening, I went to the nurse And the nurses were allowing me to go into the locker room area Where they changed for work And there was a bathtub in there And I was allowed to take my bathing time in there

[00:06:15] And I remember running the bathtub this particular time saying Lord, would you baptize me? Would you baptize me in the Holy Spirit and baptize me into you? And I just slipped under the water And I came up speaking in tongues Wow I was like, whoa Oh, this is awesome You know, so that's a little side note of how The work of the Spirit was very experiential at that time

[00:06:41] And I was praying for God to heal Alex Of course, right? Sure Believing in these miracles They are this supernatural working of a supernatural God And I was experiencing probably the greatest miracle is salvation And knowing that I had the Holy Spirit with me And we were praying for Him to be healed And somehow, I got the impression that if I prayed for it several times

[00:07:09] And it didn't happen, I'm to accept the answer is no Wow And you're just a new believer Right That's amazing But I'm also gathering all of this from reading the scriptures Excellent On a fast track of reading And then I also said, but Lord If it is a no Then please take his pain away So he doesn't have to be really heavily medicated And we were praying this together

[00:07:37] And from, I don't know when it was But from that day on, his pain stopped Wow Really? And he was still, I know Had cancer Yeah But he wasn't in severe pain when he was being injected with morphine In fact, the doctors were super, super worried about it Even though they were full of faith They were like, but it's going to wear off And then he's going to hurt And we're like, no

[00:08:05] No, it's not going to wear off And he won't need it They were surprised also with us This is a miracle too Right? That he would have comfort in his last days My first Easter was just a few I think it was a week or two before he died And he was speaking less But I remember Easter Wow, that was the first understanding of that

[00:08:35] Jesus went to the cross And he suffered And in the process of that suffering I felt like I was watching Alex suffer In his dying process without the pain But it so brought me in connection to the message of Easter That I was transformed with that too And then I just knew when he breathed his last breath

[00:09:03] That he was in heaven I had that full assurance He had entered those pearly gates of what I read about I read about those gates Yeah, he was with Jesus Beautiful, true Okay, now Trish, you haven't worked for Right Almost a year Yeah By this time Yeah So how did you pick up the pieces after Alex went to heaven? Well, it was a very difficult place

[00:09:31] But Chris and his wife And they had two young kids They'd adopted me The chaplain The chaplain Yeah, the chaplain And so they invited me to come and stay with them For a couple of weeks after his death And so I went home Gathered some things But just before I left the hospice At this, you know, St. Anne's Hospice I remember in the lobby It was I was walking out the door

[00:10:00] I said goodbye to all the nurses I became friends with them Everybody that I knew there That was there That shift And I was standing at the door As I was about to exit St. Anne's Hospice And you could see from the lobby You're saying St. Anne's, right? St. Anne's Okay, there's a little bit of an accent coming across That it almost sounds like Satan's And I just want our listeners to hear It's St. Anne's All right St. Anne's Hospice And as I was in the lobby

[00:10:28] The doors of this chapel were open And I was looking towards the altar in the chapel And I remember just speaking Saying, Lord, I don't know where I'm going now I don't know what you have for me But I know that you're going to do something with my life And I just don't know how that's going to be right now But I'm giving you my full trust

[00:10:57] I'm going to follow you So I left Left and went to Chris's house Chris and Helen His wife And I just For the first time in I don't know how many years Probably since that small time When I was a child doing the Sunday walks I don't remember going to a church very often But Chris Obviously was a pastor I don't know if I told you that But he was actually A pastor of a local church In Chatterton

[00:11:26] So he pastored a little flock And being a chaplain of the hospice Was kind of like a side volunteer job That he was doing So So for the first time I went into this church And everybody knew me Because he'd had them all praying for Alex and I You were home Without even knowing it I was home I was home And I got this overwhelming sense of love When I walked into this little church in Chatterton

[00:11:55] And all I could do was cry And Chris was telling everybody It's okay She's okay She's okay Just let her be Moment And I sat in the pews Like two pews from the front And I looked up at the stained glass window And it was Ephesians 2 8 and 9 For by grace That's right For grace And with this beautiful image In stained glass of Jesus And I was like

[00:12:23] For grace I am saved I know I'd had This enormous grace Poured out into my life Yeah To save me And I couldn't add to it And I wasn't going to be able to earn it Or feel You know It's not by works Lest any man should boast That's right I was never going to boast in it It's all about Jesus So that was my first experience And then Yeah Went on from there Now how did you get to the United States? Because we're going to have to fast forward

[00:12:51] So how did you get to the United States? So After the couple of weeks there I'm back home And Obviously I've got this relationship with the Lord I'm in prayer a lot I'm talking to my brother My My brother's I'm calling him from You know England to America I haven't seen him in three years And I'm telling him about Jesus And he's going Uh-huh Hmm And I know from his voice

[00:13:21] He was like Oh my goodness Yeah What's happened to my sister? She's gone You know She's gone like Flipped out Because of The stress that she's been under Or whatever And he's like Yeah Come and visit me Come and spend time here So I I got a visa To go To America And at the time He'd moved from San Francisco To the Phoenix area Hmm And he was married And he had I think he Only had two kids at this time Uh

[00:13:51] Before the youngest one was born So Um I went to To go and visit my brother Of course My intention was In a Blaze of the Holy Spirit Holy Spirit That it would be saved In Jesus name But it's like No It didn't quite go that way And he He was a drinker Surprise Right So there I was met With his problem That he was A successful businessman And he was

[00:14:21] Kind of abusive To his wife Hmm And I was grieved In the heart He didn't want to receive What I had to say And um This you know Heavy drinking Atmosphere That it was round I didn't feel At all comfortable But His wife's Family were visiting At that time And they It's actually her dad With two of her brothers Younger brothers Had planned this trip For years That They had looked forward Because they were

[00:14:50] From Rochester, New York They wanted to do A round trip Uh Driving Uh Adventure On the back Of the Honda Goldwing bikes Oh no The bicycles Yes Oh my goodness Whoa So They had They had been there In Arizona That was a part Of their journey From Rochester To Arizona To Phoenix And um So After a couple of weeks They're on their way Now they're heading Up to San Francisco area And to

[00:15:20] To visit A cousin of his And they're like We've still got One seat left Would you like To join us Trish And in my Adventurous spirit Yes Of course And he said And my cousin Is leading a bible Study at her house Wow That had me sold Yes So I thought This This has got to be The lord I'm going to Take a break From my brother's House I'm going to Go and connect With some believers And I really Was hungering For that So Yeah So I traveled On the back Of the Honda Goldwing

[00:15:50] And I ended up Getting off That ride there And um I spent Six weeks In Northern California With this new Sister in the Lord That I just met Kathy And And that's The beginning Of how I met My second husband So She introduced me To her brother-in-law Who happens To be living In Huntington Beach Southern California So She said Why don't You come back With me

[00:16:19] To Southern California I'm visiting My in-laws Down there And it's a shorter Trip to get Back to Phoenix So that's What we did All these things Just happen Yes I know right But this was Not a successful Relationship No No No No this was This was It actually was It was a part Of my journey Of growth And transformation So in In this process It was not even Obviously

[00:16:48] Not even a year I've lost my husband But I was on this High with With my relationship With Jesus I was so zealous For the Lord And I was I was also Under a delusion That it was going To be You know All perfect And the Holy Spirit Had authority Over every choice That I had That I almost Couldn't make A misstep And I didn't Understand yet How to Navigate Such a valuable With my free will All of this And you know why This is really valuable

[00:17:18] For today Is because Trish Has this gift Of discipling Others Yes In one of the Most amazing ways But anyway So this is a story That she's able To share With these women That she disciples And I've met And I love her ministry But anyway Yeah so So I met This young man A couple of years Younger than me And he I think he was More enamored By the fact He was British And had a British accent But anyway

[00:17:48] My sister-in-law Shared the gospel With him He accepted Jesus On the spot We took him To local churches And she was All excited And I was excited I was like Oh wow Out of the testimony Here's a conversion So it was kind of like I thought The first conversion That I saw You know And so then His family Invited me To spend some time There In Huntington Beach So

[00:18:17] I did Before I was Heading back To Phoenix To spend Some time With my brother And you know That was After a few weeks Seven weeks All I ended up Being proposed to And we got married Wow Seven weeks Seven weeks Might be a new record For all the stories We count on My parents are six weeks So there you go Yeah But you know Again But that was a good one Yeah I was kind of Under this Yeah You know

[00:18:47] Delusion I know It was delusional Thinking That I couldn't Make a mistake That the Lord Was leading These beautiful steps And it was just All going so well And I didn't know Discernment I didn't Have discernment It hadn't developed How long were you married? Five years Five years Wow So that Yeah So that relationship Was glorious For the first year And actually Being here In Southern California Where did he Bring me to To go to church

[00:19:17] Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa Oh there you go That's where I found My home church And so After Like you say Five years That ended And I don't know If I kind of Knew you close Back then But I was very broken Yes And confused By the whole Divorce thing You know Because he filed For it Yeah So then From there What happened With the next Well you went Into nursing

[00:19:47] School Right So how did You go to Nursing school So it was Through the Divorce years You know I was saying Oh lord I do not Want to even Look at A man right now I want you To be my husband And teach me Your ways And then I was a roommate After you know The divorce I moved across The street Which we call A gospel gulch And my friend Was My dear friend Annette She was A sister In the lord And she'd Been

[00:20:16] She'd been A nurse But she'd Been diagnosed With multiple Sclerosis And lupus And she was Declining But she Encouraged me To pray about Going into The nursing field She says I see some Gifts of Mercy Very strong Gifts of Mercy In your Life That have You ever Considered Nursing So anyway After Taking the Challenge of Praying Because I Was like No I Don't want To do Nursing I'm not Even thinking Of it It's not On my Radar Right now So But she Said no Please pray About it And it Was like Every person I met

[00:20:46] After that Was a Nurse I kept Saying Oh let Me think You're You're A nurse Right By the End of This period Of praying I was Convinced God Wanted Me To Go To Nursing School And you Know This Now You're Seeking The Direction Of The Lord It's Not Just Like Well You know This Opened Up No She Wants Me To Be

[00:21:26] To To Joyful Life In The Evening So I met Her At The Joyful Life And She She'd Been Visiting She Was One Of The Speakers And so She Could See The Broken Parts And How Some Things Were Not Matching Up Doctrinally In My Head She Could See The Potential I Think Of So Much More And Then She She She Nurtured Me She Mentored And Discipled Me As Well So So For

[00:21:56] Several Months I I Was Going Through This Process Of Dealing With The Pain Of My Father Dealing With The Pain Of The Divorce And And And Just You Back In Who I Am Not To Be In The Shadows Of Secrets Anymore That I Could Bring It Out And It Could Be Used Of The Lord So I Started To Being Able To

[00:22:26] Be Confident In Sharing A Testimony And So That Was A Development That I Think The Lord Wanted Me To Come Into But It Did Take A Process And In The Process Of Being In School And Being Committed To This Discipleship Course And And In Also Not Looking At Even Entertaining Another Relationship I Thought Oh That's It I'm Not I'm Not Going To Go To The Singles Group I'm

[00:22:56] Not Doing Anything Like That Maybe I'll Go To This Prayer Meeting And We Had We Now The We Comes In The We Is My Husband To Be Is Laszlo But I Don't Know Him Yet But We Knew Mutual Friends At Calvary Chapel And They Were Going To The Prayer Meeting And He Was Going To The Prayer Meeting And I Wasn't And

[00:24:03] And the healing that the Lord had been doing. Right. So important. Yes, very much. And so, yeah, so about two years afterwards, we walk down the aisle at Calvary, or I walk down the aisle to meet Laszlo at the altar and get married here at Calvary Chapel. And how many years have you been married now? It'll be 28 in March. 28 in March. Well, we're going to bring this to a quick conclusion, unfortunately, because we've already done three.

[00:24:33] But I wish you could hear. I wish we could do a part four. I wish we could. This is why you have to finish your book, Trish. That's right. I've read the first beginning, but that's one book. Yes. I think you have several books in you. Because after this, Trish and Laszlo started a ministry together of hospice themselves. And I don't think it was unlike St. Anne's taking those lessons. And they've just recently retired. They have a home Bible study. They still pray. They minister to so many.

[00:25:00] And that's why both Robin and I felt like Trish Kolchart was such a woman worth knowing. So thank you for letting us introduce you to our friend, Trish. God bless you all. Thank you for listening to Women Worth Knowing with Cheryl Broderson and Robin Jones-Gunn. For more information on Cheryl, visit CherylBroderson.com or follow her on Instagram or Facebook. For more information on Robin, visit RobinGunn.com or follow her on Instagram or Facebook.

[00:25:26] Join us each week for a lively conversation as we explore the lives of well-known and not-so-well-known historical and contemporary Christian women. If you think there is a woman worth knowing, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at WWK at CCCM.com. We hope you've enjoyed today's episode. Make sure you rate us on your podcast app, subscribe, and share it with a friend. Thank you again for listening to Women Worth Knowing with Cheryl Broderson and Robin Jones-Gunn.

[00:25:56] Women Worth Knowing is a production of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa.