What does it take to be a "super dad"? What are ways that a father can delight in your children? In this special solo episode, Nate takes through Proverbs and looks at scripture that speaks to fathers. As Nate goes through scripture he provides insight into characteristics and qualities that it takes to be godly father and super dad.
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Website: nateholdridge.com
Instagram: @nateholdridge
Church: calvary.com
[00:00:11] Alright, hey everyone welcome to episode 177 of the Jesus Famous podcast, what a blessing.
[00:00:20] Our podcast exists to see Jesus honored, glorified, loved, esteemed, appreciated, adored, revered
[00:00:25] and followed Jesus Famous in your everyday life.
[00:00:30] And if you don't know me I'm Nate Holdridge, I'll host today I'm the pastor at Calvary
[00:00:34] Monterey on the California Central Coast.
[00:00:37] I like to preach about Jesus Famous on Sundays but write and podcast about Jesus Famous during
[00:00:42] the week at NateHoldridge.com.
[00:00:46] Our show consists of interviews, discussions and stories that we think will help propel
[00:00:50] you further into an appreciation of Jesus.
[00:00:53] Basically the thought is that if Jesus is important, honored, esteemed, glorified
[00:01:00] to you it will impact everything about your life.
[00:01:06] So today on today's episode we're coming out right around Father's Day.
[00:01:10] I'm going to do a special solo Father's Day episode called Super Dad and just talk about
[00:01:17] the role of fathers mostly from some verses in the proverbs so I'm looking forward to
[00:01:23] sharing this with you today.
[00:01:27] Before I get into the actual episode though there is an announcement I'd like to make
[00:01:32] about the summer season for the Jesus Famous podcast.
[00:01:37] This is going to be our last podcast of the summer so that we can give ourselves a little
[00:01:43] summer break.
[00:01:46] The benefits of this will be twofold.
[00:01:48] One is just some rest.
[00:01:50] Those of you who know me know that I've been going through some vocal cord issues
[00:01:53] so it'll be nice to have one less thing to be on the microphone for for a little
[00:01:57] period of time.
[00:01:59] But then secondly it will give us a chance to regroup, regain our vision for the podcast
[00:02:06] and charge into a new season strongly if that's how the Lord leads.
[00:02:10] So thanks for your support of the podcast.
[00:02:12] Thanks for listening and just know that the next couple of months will be off air
[00:02:17] so if you don't see it repopulating with new episodes it's not a you issue.
[00:02:23] So we're not going to be releasing in July or in August.
[00:02:29] Alright so super dad I want to start with Proverbs 17 verse 6 it says children's children are
[00:02:38] the crown of old men and the glory of children is their father.
[00:02:46] I read this verse because it's always fascinated me that God shares the title father
[00:02:54] with men here on earth.
[00:02:57] It's not that God looked on the earth for a title that he could borrow for himself
[00:03:04] and saw all the dads of the earth and the gods of the earth and the gods of the earth
[00:03:10] for a title that he could borrow for himself and saw all the dads of the earth doing their
[00:03:17] dad stuff telling their dad jokes and thought to himself I've got to be called a father.
[00:03:23] It's that God is the father of humanity, the creator of humanity, the inventor of
[00:03:31] humanity and he shares his title with men on earth who if they have children are called to the role of
[00:03:43] being a father. Now unfortunately there's a father problem in the world today in various forms.
[00:03:53] Many men will have children but then do things to either neglect their children or damage
[00:04:01] their children or lead their children astray sometimes just through the simple neglect of their
[00:04:06] responsibilities and unfortunately so many of these sins against children are then perpetuated
[00:04:14] or continued on in the generations to come. And so a cycle repeats itself and it's a cycle
[00:04:23] that can be broken in Christ Jesus praise the Lord when God gets a hold of our lives we get
[00:04:31] perhaps a father that we never had and we can become good men who are leading our children well.
[00:04:39] You might have every once in a while see a crime that's been recorded on some kind of security
[00:04:45] footage or somebody's cell phone carried out by someone who's wearing the jersey
[00:04:52] of a professional athlete. Unfortunately there are many fathers on earth committing crimes
[00:04:59] against their children they're wearing the title of God the Father. So what we want is to emulate
[00:05:07] him we want to get back to what the original is like and so children's children are the
[00:05:14] crown of old men and the glory of children is their father you know kids when they got a great
[00:05:21] dad it just means so much to who they are and what they're about. Okay so what's the goal for a
[00:05:28] Christian dad well I love the concept from Phil and Diane Comer in their book raising passionate
[00:05:36] Jesus followers great parenting book that deals with the various stages of raising kids
[00:05:43] and the goal really according to them and according to scripture is we want to raise
[00:05:48] children who love Jesus. Now kids are malleable that means that God has deposited into them a real
[00:05:58] teachable spirit this is good that impressionable nature is helpful to us as we're raising them
[00:06:08] because we're trying to imprint upon them godliness and morals and truth so they have
[00:06:15] a malleableness to them so you know when of course they're seven years old and they say I love Jesus
[00:06:24] we celebrate that but we understand of course that as the years go by they're going to have to
[00:06:31] truly decide in their adult years whether they're going to be disciples and followers
[00:06:36] of Christ that's the goal however not just to get them to say when they're little I love
[00:06:43] Jesus we do want that but to say it in their older years late teenage years in their 20s to say
[00:06:51] I'm devoted to Christ I love the Lord I love Jesus okay so today I'm going to talk about six
[00:07:00] scriptures that I think give us a picture of what a great dad looks like the first scripture
[00:07:08] comes from Proverbs 3 verse 11 and 12 it says my son do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary
[00:07:16] of his reproof the Lord reproves him whom he loves as a father the son in whom he delights now
[00:07:26] there's a lot in those two verses there's a lot about discipline and correction that comes from
[00:07:34] a seat of love and that's where I want to start number one a good dad delights in his children
[00:07:45] a discipline without delight is never going to be received well by children discipline
[00:07:53] without delight is authoritarianism but when delight is there and the foundation of the
[00:08:01] relationship between father and child is that of love and the child is confident and living in
[00:08:09] the love of their father then the father he it's not that he gains permission to discipline that
[00:08:18] permission is given to him by divine right God has asked a father to discipline his children
[00:08:28] so it's not that he gains the right through love to discipline his children it's that his discipline
[00:08:35] becomes effective because of that delight it's so important to delight in your kids before
[00:08:42] discipline without delight children are I think more easily provoked you might remember the way
[00:08:51] Paul spoke of it when he talked about parenting and he didn't say a ton about parenting I mean I
[00:08:57] want to correct that Paul said a ton and there are applications in the things that Paul said
[00:09:05] for parenting but but Paul didn't say a lot directly about parenting but he did write Ephesians
[00:09:14] 6 verse 4 and Colossians 3 verse 21 where he told fathers to make sure that they do not provoke
[00:09:21] their children to wrath Ephesians 6 4 or that they do not discourage their children Colossians 3
[00:09:29] verse 21 and I think this wrath or this provocation or this discouragement or disillusionment
[00:09:37] it can often come when a child is not delighted in by their father we of course in thinking about God
[00:09:48] as our father rejoice that he delights in us before he disciplines us I mean praise God for
[00:09:56] the chastening hand of the Lord praise God for the times where he deals with us praise God
[00:10:02] for that however praise God that before that discipline he delights in us he wants a relationship
[00:10:09] with us so badly that he sent his only begotten son so that we might be made right in his presence
[00:10:17] and wouldn't we say that it's that delight in us from God the father that opens us up to his
[00:10:26] leadership upon our lives I know that there are or is a subset in the church who does not understand
[00:10:36] grace in any kind of way the favor of God in any kind of way but their natural inclination is
[00:10:43] towards law and rules and all of that so they will behave well out of not out of relationship
[00:10:53] and not out of love but out of almost a an unholy kind of fear not a reverence not an awe
[00:11:02] not a magisterial fear but an unholy paranoia of God but for most of us we don't respond well to that
[00:11:12] kind of mentality we've we've got to know that God delights in us and praise the Lord he does
[00:11:19] so fathers I want to encourage you to delight in your children one of the best ways to delight in
[00:11:25] your kids is with your time what I don't mean by this is that you need to give your children
[00:11:35] the center of the universe syndrome you know there there is a time brothers to be able to
[00:11:43] communicate to your kids through your words or through your actions that you're a serious person
[00:11:50] that you have responsibilities that you have to go to work that you need to get things done you
[00:11:58] can't just play board games and go to every athletic contest and all of that so I'm not
[00:12:05] saying that you have to give your kids the center of the universe syndrome but I am saying
[00:12:11] that you've got to give them your time you got to play with them hang out with them
[00:12:18] go on special little trips with them read books with them tell them stories at the end of the day
[00:12:26] when you put them to bed pray for them talk with them get them involved in the things that
[00:12:31] you're interested in and be involved in the things they're interested in give them your time this
[00:12:39] is so much better than stuff or possessions or money give them your time so I love this delight in
[00:12:49] your children okay the second passage that I want to point out to talk about what a great dad looks
[00:12:56] like a super dad actually comes from the gospel of mark and it's the story when Jesus came back
[00:13:08] down from the mountain of transfiguration with Peter James and John you might remember the scene
[00:13:15] that he encountered he returned with those three disciples to find the other nine disciples
[00:13:24] in a heated debate with the religious leaders there had been a man who had a son
[00:13:31] who was demonically possessed or oppressed and he'd brought the boy to the disciples
[00:13:39] so that they could cast out the demon now they had done a measure of this when Jesus had sent them
[00:13:46] out two by two previously but for whatever reason they couldn't cast out this particular demon
[00:13:55] later in the episode when they asked Jesus why he said this kind comes out by prayer and fasting it
[00:14:03] seems that there was a measure of spiritual intensity or investment that was required for them
[00:14:10] to be effective that they just didn't have yet at that period of their lives and Jesus after
[00:14:14] all had come down from the mountaintop where he had spent time in prayer with his father
[00:14:21] he came down in authority but none of those things are what I want to focus on here what I
[00:14:28] want to focus on is the father of this child he rushed to Jesus and he said I brought my son to
[00:14:39] you for he has a spirit that makes him mute and whenever it seizes him it throws him down
[00:14:47] and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid so I asked your disciples to cast it out
[00:14:54] and they were not able and then later when Jesus asked how long this had been happening he said
[00:15:01] from childhood and it is often cast him into the fire and into the water to destroy him but
[00:15:07] if you can do anything have compassion on us and help us Jesus told him that all things
[00:15:14] were possible for one who believed and then the father cried out and said I believe help my unbelief
[00:15:24] what I'm trying to draw out is that you know this dad he brought his kid to Jesus and he just
[00:15:30] said what he needed to say to Jesus the second big thing I wanted to just talk about is not only
[00:15:37] does a super dad delight in his children but he prays for his children he brings his kids
[00:15:44] to the throne of God and intercedes for them and I want to encourage you if you're a father today
[00:15:52] I want to encourage you to regularly pray for your children you know what I found when I'm praying
[00:16:00] for my kids is that there are so often the temporal right now things that I want to lift
[00:16:08] up to God for them you know maybe a friendship that they're struggling with a class that they're
[00:16:16] having difficulty in a loneliness that they're facing some kind of trial that they're going through
[00:16:22] right in this moment but when I linger in prayer for my children I find that I rise
[00:16:31] above some of the immediate concerns going on in their lives and I begin praying for their future
[00:16:39] I begin praying for their spirit I begin praying for the things that are out there in front of them
[00:16:46] in life I know that Christina my wife prays for the future of our kids and so many different ways
[00:16:55] but I think and maybe I'm speaking out a turn here but it seems that her natural inclination is to be
[00:17:03] seeing so well the condition that they're in today and my role is to be thinking about what
[00:17:12] they could become tomorrow so I'm often praying for if they're to be married someday their future
[00:17:19] spouse I'm praying for them to have a revelation of Christ a spiritual epiphany so that Jesus would
[00:17:26] be famous to them but pray for your children and as you're praying for your children make sure that
[00:17:36] you're not only or exclusively praying in the realm that so many modern parents would think are
[00:17:43] important so many modern parents are concerned with education making money being successful
[00:17:52] in life lift up your children's spiritual health their love for God pray for their physical health
[00:18:01] absolutely there are plenty of people in scripture who prayed for the physical health of their
[00:18:07] children and God heard their request heard their prayer but lift up the heart of your children
[00:18:16] as well remember the prayer of David for his son Solomon he said God give my son Solomon a loyal heart
[00:18:27] to keep your commandments and your testimonies and your statutes to do all these things
[00:18:35] first chronicles 29 19 what a great prayer to be praying that your children would have a loyal heart
[00:18:43] unto God one of the great benefits of this as a dad is that when you're praying this way I mean
[00:18:50] just imagine praying this way for a three-year-old you know you're praying that their heart would
[00:18:55] be loyal to God that they'd have a gospel vision that they'd be a Jesus person as I said earlier
[00:19:02] you know there's a version of that at age three there's a version of that at age seven a version
[00:19:07] of that at age 11 but again these are the more malleable years of their lives what we're praying
[00:19:15] for is a full grown version of that when they enter into adulthood and when you're praying that way
[00:19:23] for that day to ultimately come it really helps you in your current present day parenting to
[00:19:29] know I've got a goal the thing that I'm praying for is what I'm actually working for as well so
[00:19:37] I'd encourage you to be a man of prayer lifting up your children to the Lord pray for their future
[00:19:45] spouse pray for their purity pray for their health pray for their friendships pray for them in
[00:19:50] spiritual warfare pray for them in decisions that they need to make and sometimes let them hear
[00:19:58] your prayers as you're crying out to God on their behalf putting them down to sleep at night
[00:20:04] lift them up to the Lord and let them hear what their father is praying for in their lives
[00:20:12] okay number three a great dad teaches his children a great dad teaches his children
[00:20:20] we could lift this from so many places in scripture but I'm going to take it from
[00:20:25] Proverbs chapter 1 verse 8 through 10 there we have a father who is teaching his son he says
[00:20:34] hear my son your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching for they are a
[00:20:40] graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck so he goes on and you know all of
[00:20:47] Proverbs really is a father teaching his child and I love that because what you have are
[00:20:55] doctrinal teachings in Proverbs but also practical teachings in Proverbs the working out of the
[00:21:02] doctrines of scripture in practical form so I'd encourage you to teach your children
[00:21:10] Ephesians 6 verse 4 says that we're to as fathers raise our kids up in the
[00:21:16] training and admonition of the Lord now God as our father he works to teach us doesn't he
[00:21:26] you know his teaching is patient it's over time he uses the events of our lives to instruct us
[00:21:38] and our teaching can be the same way to come alongside of our children to use the events
[00:21:44] of their lives the situations that they're going through to teach and instruct them in the ways of
[00:21:50] the Lord this can be a lesson that is being taught sort of a reduced down classroom kind of environment
[00:22:02] you know as my kids were growing up and little I loved to take a picture Bible and
[00:22:08] teach them the stories of scripture I loved those moments and still love those moments today
[00:22:15] although the Bible no longer has pictures in it in our lessons but what I'm trying to say is
[00:22:22] that's not the only time to teach your kids throughout the day we can be sharing with
[00:22:29] our children the truth of God and his word you know for the people of Israel back in
[00:22:34] Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 6 to 9 God told them the words I command you shall be in your heart
[00:22:43] you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house
[00:22:49] when you walk by the way when you lie down and when you rise up you should bind them on the
[00:22:56] side as a sign on your hand and they shall be as front lets between your eyes you shall
[00:23:01] write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates in other words all throughout the day
[00:23:09] whether they were sitting there in the house or traveling together or going to bed at the end
[00:23:16] of the day or waking up in the morning there were opportunities to retransmit what God had
[00:23:24] transmitted to the parents to the children to hand it down to the next generation and you know
[00:23:32] we can do the same we're not in an ancient israeli culture so when we sit in our house well what
[00:23:40] are we doing we're probably eating meals around the family table we're sitting in the living room
[00:23:49] maybe we're hanging out in the backyard having a bonfire maybe we're sitting in front of the
[00:23:54] television and watching a movie but in those events or after those events how can we talk about and
[00:24:02] incorporate the Lord into those moments we're not walking usually from place to place where
[00:24:09] maybe hopping in the SUV but when we do what an opportunity to be talking about the Lord or
[00:24:17] singing to the Lord when you lie down and what a precious moment that's a time where as your kids
[00:24:25] are going to bed they're ready for a one-on-one word potentially to hear your voice to hear
[00:24:33] your teaching and then to start the day when you rise up you see all throughout the day we
[00:24:39] have opportunities if we take them to teach our children and dads you can be involved in teaching
[00:24:48] your kids your wife if you're married is going to be used by God immensely in this area of life
[00:24:56] but you are called to teach as well to train up to speak into the lives of your kids don't
[00:25:05] leave it all to mom make sure that you are communicating the truth as well now this is great
[00:25:11] because it keeps us pressing in ourselves but all throughout the day be someone who is teaching
[00:25:19] sharing the word with your kids I can always remember sitting at our family computer many
[00:25:26] years ago I was working on the family budget you know had some spreadsheets in front of me
[00:25:31] and some bank websites and one of my kids asked me you know what what are you doing right now
[00:25:37] and so I was able to just you know not give a full on well let me give you a 30 minute bible study
[00:25:44] but I was able to share about the proverbs and how the ant stores up little by little
[00:25:50] and how finances work and what I was doing and trying to be a steward of what God had given
[00:25:56] to us as a family those are that's just one example of teachable moments that God will provide to you
[00:26:07] be sure not to expect anyone else to take care of this responsibility for you this is not something
[00:26:14] that should be farmed out to the church this is not something that can be farmed out to
[00:26:20] the school this is not something that the professionals are called to take care of
[00:26:24] though they might help you and age you and come alongside of you it's inside the home
[00:26:32] that you can be a teacher of your children you you've got to be in the word yourself
[00:26:36] and transmit it to your kids okay the fourth thing I want to talk about is a great dad a
[00:26:44] super dad he protects his children he protects his children proverbs 14 verse 26 says in the fear
[00:26:53] of the Lord one has strong confidence and his children will have a refuge you know God as father
[00:27:02] he is a refuge to us isn't he actually in the process of preparing a sermon on Psalm 11 where
[00:27:12] there was some kind of pressure being brought upon David we don't know precisely what it was
[00:27:18] but we can use our imaginations just knowing everything that he endured at the hands of Saul
[00:27:24] and somebody said to him you need to take matters into your own hands you need to run away you need
[00:27:30] to go find refuge and his answer was God is my refuge I'm going to God he found solace and
[00:27:38] comfort and protection in God as his father that's who God is now as under fathers so to speak under
[00:27:50] the father we want to do the same thing we want to provide refuge protection safety for our kids
[00:27:58] now obviously one place this safety starts is safety from you this is what I was alluding to
[00:28:05] earlier so often kids experience trauma or wrath or anger or neglect from their own fathers how
[00:28:16] damaging but we need to be men who say you're gonna find in me a place of safety a place
[00:28:27] of refuge a place of solace a place of protection a place of comfort you know if you think about
[00:28:35] the world is really not a very safe place for kids there's neglect and abuse and
[00:28:45] molestation and fornication and and rape there are all these dangers that exist for them
[00:28:54] and aside from the more violent or sexual or abusive elements that our kids are at risk of
[00:29:05] encountering we also live in an age where you know there are companies that are just vying for
[00:29:13] their eyeballs and their attention constantly it's just not a safe place for kids but kids are safe
[00:29:24] with a dad who fears God kids are safe with a dad who fears God and I would encourage you
[00:29:35] be involved in protecting your children now I love the story of Philip in the New Testament he
[00:29:42] was one of the first deacons in the church and he had all these daughters who were gifted by the
[00:29:50] spirit they were they had the gift of prophecy and they were morally pure as young women and I think
[00:30:00] that that moral purity had something to do with Philip and his walk with God and his involvement
[00:30:07] in their lives in other words it's not right for a father to take the approach of saying you know it's
[00:30:16] it's not any of my business and and you know they all they have their own lives to live and their
[00:30:22] own desires and their own thoughts and it's it's not in my business I'm just gonna pull back and
[00:30:29] let them do whatever they're going to do now a dad be involved in the lives of your kids
[00:30:39] one thing that I've noticed time and time again with parenting and different families that I've
[00:30:47] been exposed to over the years is that in those first 10 years of a child's life a dad is really
[00:30:55] important absolutely but a lot of times it's mom who is providing and teaching and and offering
[00:31:04] sort of that daily nurturing that early childhood requires there's something that happens when a child
[00:31:13] gets into those preteen and then teenage years where a dad can tell himself you know I was good
[00:31:20] at tickling I was good at pillow fights I was good at building forts and planning family vacations
[00:31:28] and building a fire I was good at all the things that made my kids think I was a genius but now
[00:31:36] they're teenagers now they don't see me in the same way now I need to take a backseat no what I
[00:31:43] want to say to you brothers is that that is a lie from the pit of hell you're actually called to get
[00:31:50] into the front seat get behind the wheel during that period of your children's lives interject yourself
[00:32:00] involve yourself in their lives get to know who their friends are what they're seeing online
[00:32:06] where they're at at all times you know be involved I'm not saying you need to be a super nanny I'm not
[00:32:14] saying you need to you know have our surveillance system I'm not saying you need to be that legalistic
[00:32:20] harsh law over your kids but being involved don't distance yourself involve yourself be engaged in
[00:32:29] there if they start dating be involved and knowing what's happening at sleepovers if you allow
[00:32:36] that be involved in knowing what's on their computers and on their phones do what you can to
[00:32:44] eradicate pornography or the possibility of pornography being a temptation from your family's
[00:32:51] life be engaged in what their social networking looks like be engaged in their sex education
[00:33:00] and know when they're unsupervised at the homes of others that you don't know be involved in their
[00:33:07] lives you can't keep them from all forms of evil but you can provide that protective layer
[00:33:16] in their lives and I would encourage you to do so I've seen a lot of dads who've just kind of
[00:33:21] given up who have just said well my kid has a laptop full internet connection has a tv
[00:33:27] up in their room they close the door I don't know what's going on in there hey man is it your house
[00:33:34] is it your child you know they're not in an age where they can make that kind of decision with
[00:33:40] wisdom and so you need to set up safeties and guards to give them the best possible chance
[00:33:47] for success no matter how much lip they give you okay the next one that I wanted to say
[00:33:54] is that a father not only does he protect his children teach his children pray for his children
[00:33:59] and delight in his children but he disciplines his children he disciplines his children let me read
[00:34:09] a couple of proverbs to you that highlight this theme proverbs 13 verse 24 whoever spares the rod
[00:34:18] hates his son but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him proverbs 19 verse 18 discipline your
[00:34:28] son for there is hope do not set your heart on putting him to death that's a great one for
[00:34:36] parents you might get a little discouraged but have hope in the midst of that discipline and
[00:34:42] finally proverbs 29 verse 17 says discipline your son and he will give you rest he will give you
[00:34:52] delight he will give delight to your heart now of course when it comes to discipline this is
[00:34:59] something that god does for us we're thankful of that Hebrews chapter 12 explains that the
[00:35:06] disciplinary hand of god is actually an evidence of the love of god for our lives if we were not his
[00:35:14] children went then he would not discipline us if we did not belong to him he would not pay attention
[00:35:20] to us in that way but because we're his because he loves us he will chasing us for our good it's
[00:35:29] not judgment from god judgment was taken by jesus in the cross of christ but it's god's disciplinary
[00:35:37] hand he knows what's good for us and he will chasing us as needed now the best discipline
[00:35:48] comes from a dad who is submitted to god's discipline in other words if you are submissive
[00:35:58] to god and god's authority in your life then you have the basic ingredients to give good discipline
[00:36:11] to your own children don't be a self-willed man in other words who can never find a church leader
[00:36:19] to follow can never find a church that's good enough can never find a group to be part of
[00:36:29] who doesn't spend time with the lord in the word or prayer who is recklessly disobedient
[00:36:39] consistently in a portion of his life before god who then tries to bring discipline into the
[00:36:46] lives of your kids it's not through your obedience that you will gain the privilege or right to discipline
[00:36:54] it's just that your discipline is going to go so much better if you are humbly coming under the hand
[00:37:00] of your god before your kids are coming under your disciplinary hand now as you're disciplining
[00:37:09] just a couple of words of wisdom be consistent you know so often as parents discipline is just one
[00:37:17] of the most tiring fatiguing things to do you know so we come up with all these mechanisms you
[00:37:23] know i'm going to count to three uh or i you know if you don't come over here and we resort to threats
[00:37:30] and we stack the threats on top of each other because we don't want to follow through with
[00:37:34] the thing that we said we would do be consistent man do what you say you are going to do it's going
[00:37:42] to cost you a little bit it will be inconvenient but be consistent um and as you're disciplining keep
[00:37:51] that perspective it's not that you're punishing it's that you're disciplining you know that last
[00:37:58] proverb we read Proverbs 29 verse 17 talked about what discipline will do for the parent long term it
[00:38:06] will be bring a blessing to the heart why because a day comes in the life of a person who's been
[00:38:13] trained where the training wheels come off and if you can take the perspective as a parent of
[00:38:20] saying you know the things that i'm doing when my child you know lashes out at another child
[00:38:26] and i have to discipline them um what i'm doing is i'm preparing them for the future where they're
[00:38:33] going to be incredible in the workplace because they're going to know how to deal with interpersonal
[00:38:40] conflict better than most people will because i've offered them training on that subject all throughout
[00:38:48] their childhood if you can have that perspective discipline versus having the perspective of i'm
[00:38:56] going to punish you for what you've done if you can maintain the discipline perspective it will just
[00:39:02] help you in every um opportunity that your children present to you and they will present
[00:39:09] you many opportunities to train them in how to be as a person so discipline your children
[00:39:18] you know and as you're disciplining them one other word of caution is please do not encourage them
[00:39:26] in sin i've seen this a lot in modern times where parents uh i get a little i i don't like the
[00:39:36] phrase my child is my best friend you know my teenager is my best friend sometimes you'll hear it
[00:39:43] maybe like a grown mother talking about her 16 year old daughter we're best friends that's not the goal
[00:39:49] don't be best friends with your child you can be friends later when they're full on adults but
[00:39:53] well they're still under your care uh you've got to speak into their lives you're leading them
[00:40:02] and a lot of times i've seen parents that will actually encourage sinful behavior because they
[00:40:07] want to be friends with their child they want to be accepted by their child listen be secure in
[00:40:14] yourself fathers be confident in who you are in christ know that you're standing before god
[00:40:21] does not rise and fall with your children's opinion of you in that moment believe that
[00:40:27] you are doing the best thing for your kids and move forward don't cave or buckle because you're
[00:40:34] trying to win a popularity contest with a little person uh don't encourage sin
[00:40:43] you know and don't be guilted out of loving discipline there is a way to discipline your
[00:40:48] child consistently gently with love that will lead to their flourishing in the future
[00:40:56] okay the final uh and sixth thing that i think a great dad does uh according to scripture
[00:41:04] and i'm sure there's many more but i'll just say it like this he provides for his children
[00:41:10] he provides for his children in first timothy five verse eight it says if anyone does not
[00:41:17] provide for his relatives or his family and especially for members of his household
[00:41:23] he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever now there is a context that surrounds
[00:41:29] that verse so i don't mean to overemphasize this but there seems to be some precedent here
[00:41:35] that it's important for a dad to provide for his family to provide for his children
[00:41:42] and when paul was closing out his letter to the Corinthians in second Corinthians
[00:41:49] chapter 12 he said i'm ready to come visit you and i will not be a burden for i seek
[00:41:56] not what is yours but you and listen to this he said for children are not obligated to
[00:42:03] save up for their parents but parents for their children in other words in the apostolic mind
[00:42:10] the direction was clear the parent providing for the child not the child providing for the parent
[00:42:18] and i would encourage you brothers you know to provide for your kids and uh this is kind of one
[00:42:24] of those things that it feels a little you know people don't like to talk about this in our
[00:42:30] modern day and age or modern economy works on a if there's a family works on a two income
[00:42:35] you know kind of thing and all of that and so this often gets downplayed and and you know i
[00:42:42] i think it's great for a man and a woman to both earn an income and all of that but in the midst
[00:42:48] of all of that we might downplay the need for a man to provide it for his family and so i'd
[00:42:55] encourage you to avoid laziness to work hard to be sacrificial there's going to be
[00:43:02] toys that you don't get to have because your kids get to have the toys there's going to be
[00:43:07] fashion you don't get to have because your kids need new clothes there's going to be
[00:43:12] trips you don't get to go on because your kids have classes and activities they need to do and so
[00:43:18] be a sacrificial man avoid laziness it's hard to make it make ends meet in this world but
[00:43:25] be sacrificial and get the job done and for those of you who are i just want to say well
[00:43:30] done i mean this is a big part of being a dad that we sometimes don't emphasize at all but praise god
[00:43:38] god our father provides for us we come to him jesus said we can we can pray every single day
[00:43:44] our father in heaven how would be your name your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is
[00:43:48] in heaven give us this day our daily bread our father is a provider for us and how cool for us
[00:43:56] as dads to provide for our kids we might not be able to provide them the most lavish lifestyle or
[00:44:03] the greatest schools or the best fashions or the coolest gadgets but are we taking care of their
[00:44:10] needs let's do it brothers and if you are well done god sees that and i know it can feel like
[00:44:17] a grind but provide for your children so again proverbs 17 verse 6 which we started with the glory
[00:44:26] of children is their fathers let's do what we can to live life backward and think about the kind
[00:44:38] of grandfather we want to be in the years to come even before we have a wife if you're unmarried
[00:44:46] even before that happens in your life be thinking about what kind of man do i want to be when i die
[00:44:53] and what work or steps do i need to take to get to that point as for me i want to have had a
[00:45:01] fruitful life i want to be in a great relationship with all of my kids and potentially grandkids
[00:45:08] and i want them to be thankful to god that he allowed them to have me as their dad so
[00:45:17] for those of you listening around father's day happy father's day for those of you who aren't
[00:45:22] happy belated father's day or early father's day but let's go get it dads and let's be everything
[00:45:28] that god has asked us and called us to be for those of you who listen this far again we're
[00:45:34] on a little summer break have a great summer and lord willing we'll see you back in the fall