Super Dad

[00:00:11] Alright, hey everyone welcome to episode 177 of the Jesus Famous podcast, what a blessing.

[00:00:20] Our podcast exists to see Jesus honored, glorified, loved, esteemed, appreciated, adored, revered

[00:00:25] and followed Jesus Famous in your everyday life.

[00:00:30] And if you don't know me I'm Nate Holdridge, I'll host today I'm the pastor at Calvary

[00:00:34] Monterey on the California Central Coast.

[00:00:37] I like to preach about Jesus Famous on Sundays but write and podcast about Jesus Famous during

[00:00:42] the week at NateHoldridge.com.

[00:00:46] Our show consists of interviews, discussions and stories that we think will help propel

[00:00:50] you further into an appreciation of Jesus.

[00:00:53] Basically the thought is that if Jesus is important, honored, esteemed, glorified

[00:01:00] to you it will impact everything about your life.

[00:01:06] So today on today's episode we're coming out right around Father's Day.

[00:01:10] I'm going to do a special solo Father's Day episode called Super Dad and just talk about

[00:01:17] the role of fathers mostly from some verses in the proverbs so I'm looking forward to

[00:01:23] sharing this with you today.

[00:01:27] Before I get into the actual episode though there is an announcement I'd like to make

[00:01:32] about the summer season for the Jesus Famous podcast.

[00:01:37] This is going to be our last podcast of the summer so that we can give ourselves a little

[00:01:43] summer break.

[00:01:46] The benefits of this will be twofold.

[00:01:48] One is just some rest.

[00:01:50] Those of you who know me know that I've been going through some vocal cord issues

[00:01:53] so it'll be nice to have one less thing to be on the microphone for for a little

[00:01:57] period of time.

[00:01:59] But then secondly it will give us a chance to regroup, regain our vision for the podcast

[00:02:06] and charge into a new season strongly if that's how the Lord leads.

[00:02:10] So thanks for your support of the podcast.

[00:02:12] Thanks for listening and just know that the next couple of months will be off air

[00:02:17] so if you don't see it repopulating with new episodes it's not a you issue.

[00:02:23] So we're not going to be releasing in July or in August.

[00:02:29] Alright so super dad I want to start with Proverbs 17 verse 6 it says children's children are

[00:02:38] the crown of old men and the glory of children is their father.

[00:02:46] I read this verse because it's always fascinated me that God shares the title father

[00:02:54] with men here on earth.

[00:02:57] It's not that God looked on the earth for a title that he could borrow for himself

[00:03:04] and saw all the dads of the earth and the gods of the earth and the gods of the earth

[00:03:10] for a title that he could borrow for himself and saw all the dads of the earth doing their

[00:03:17] dad stuff telling their dad jokes and thought to himself I've got to be called a father.

[00:03:23] It's that God is the father of humanity, the creator of humanity, the inventor of

[00:03:31] humanity and he shares his title with men on earth who if they have children are called to the role of

[00:03:43] being a father. Now unfortunately there's a father problem in the world today in various forms.

[00:03:53] Many men will have children but then do things to either neglect their children or damage

[00:04:01] their children or lead their children astray sometimes just through the simple neglect of their

[00:04:06] responsibilities and unfortunately so many of these sins against children are then perpetuated

[00:04:14] or continued on in the generations to come. And so a cycle repeats itself and it's a cycle

[00:04:23] that can be broken in Christ Jesus praise the Lord when God gets a hold of our lives we get

[00:04:31] perhaps a father that we never had and we can become good men who are leading our children well.

[00:04:39] You might have every once in a while see a crime that's been recorded on some kind of security

[00:04:45] footage or somebody's cell phone carried out by someone who's wearing the jersey

[00:04:52] of a professional athlete. Unfortunately there are many fathers on earth committing crimes

[00:04:59] against their children they're wearing the title of God the Father. So what we want is to emulate

[00:05:07] him we want to get back to what the original is like and so children's children are the

[00:05:14] crown of old men and the glory of children is their father you know kids when they got a great

[00:05:21] dad it just means so much to who they are and what they're about. Okay so what's the goal for a

[00:05:28] Christian dad well I love the concept from Phil and Diane Comer in their book raising passionate

[00:05:36] Jesus followers great parenting book that deals with the various stages of raising kids

[00:05:43] and the goal really according to them and according to scripture is we want to raise

[00:05:48] children who love Jesus. Now kids are malleable that means that God has deposited into them a real

[00:05:58] teachable spirit this is good that impressionable nature is helpful to us as we're raising them

[00:06:08] because we're trying to imprint upon them godliness and morals and truth so they have

[00:06:15] a malleableness to them so you know when of course they're seven years old and they say I love Jesus

[00:06:24] we celebrate that but we understand of course that as the years go by they're going to have to

[00:06:31] truly decide in their adult years whether they're going to be disciples and followers

[00:06:36] of Christ that's the goal however not just to get them to say when they're little I love

[00:06:43] Jesus we do want that but to say it in their older years late teenage years in their 20s to say

[00:06:51] I'm devoted to Christ I love the Lord I love Jesus okay so today I'm going to talk about six

[00:07:00] scriptures that I think give us a picture of what a great dad looks like the first scripture

[00:07:08] comes from Proverbs 3 verse 11 and 12 it says my son do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary

[00:07:16] of his reproof the Lord reproves him whom he loves as a father the son in whom he delights now

[00:07:26] there's a lot in those two verses there's a lot about discipline and correction that comes from

[00:07:34] a seat of love and that's where I want to start number one a good dad delights in his children

[00:07:45] a discipline without delight is never going to be received well by children discipline

[00:07:53] without delight is authoritarianism but when delight is there and the foundation of the

[00:08:01] relationship between father and child is that of love and the child is confident and living in

[00:08:09] the love of their father then the father he it's not that he gains permission to discipline that

[00:08:18] permission is given to him by divine right God has asked a father to discipline his children

[00:08:28] so it's not that he gains the right through love to discipline his children it's that his discipline

[00:08:35] becomes effective because of that delight it's so important to delight in your kids before

[00:08:42] discipline without delight children are I think more easily provoked you might remember the way

[00:08:51] Paul spoke of it when he talked about parenting and he didn't say a ton about parenting I mean I

[00:08:57] want to correct that Paul said a ton and there are applications in the things that Paul said

[00:09:05] for parenting but but Paul didn't say a lot directly about parenting but he did write Ephesians

[00:09:14] 6 verse 4 and Colossians 3 verse 21 where he told fathers to make sure that they do not provoke

[00:09:21] their children to wrath Ephesians 6 4 or that they do not discourage their children Colossians 3

[00:09:29] verse 21 and I think this wrath or this provocation or this discouragement or disillusionment

[00:09:37] it can often come when a child is not delighted in by their father we of course in thinking about God

[00:09:48] as our father rejoice that he delights in us before he disciplines us I mean praise God for

[00:09:56] the chastening hand of the Lord praise God for the times where he deals with us praise God

[00:10:02] for that however praise God that before that discipline he delights in us he wants a relationship

[00:10:09] with us so badly that he sent his only begotten son so that we might be made right in his presence

[00:10:17] and wouldn't we say that it's that delight in us from God the father that opens us up to his

[00:10:26] leadership upon our lives I know that there are or is a subset in the church who does not understand

[00:10:36] grace in any kind of way the favor of God in any kind of way but their natural inclination is

[00:10:43] towards law and rules and all of that so they will behave well out of not out of relationship

[00:10:53] and not out of love but out of almost a an unholy kind of fear not a reverence not an awe

[00:11:02] not a magisterial fear but an unholy paranoia of God but for most of us we don't respond well to that

[00:11:12] kind of mentality we've we've got to know that God delights in us and praise the Lord he does

[00:11:19] so fathers I want to encourage you to delight in your children one of the best ways to delight in

[00:11:25] your kids is with your time what I don't mean by this is that you need to give your children

[00:11:35] the center of the universe syndrome you know there there is a time brothers to be able to

[00:11:43] communicate to your kids through your words or through your actions that you're a serious person

[00:11:50] that you have responsibilities that you have to go to work that you need to get things done you

[00:11:58] can't just play board games and go to every athletic contest and all of that so I'm not

[00:12:05] saying that you have to give your kids the center of the universe syndrome but I am saying

[00:12:11] that you've got to give them your time you got to play with them hang out with them

[00:12:18] go on special little trips with them read books with them tell them stories at the end of the day

[00:12:26] when you put them to bed pray for them talk with them get them involved in the things that

[00:12:31] you're interested in and be involved in the things they're interested in give them your time this

[00:12:39] is so much better than stuff or possessions or money give them your time so I love this delight in

[00:12:49] your children okay the second passage that I want to point out to talk about what a great dad looks

[00:12:56] like a super dad actually comes from the gospel of mark and it's the story when Jesus came back

[00:13:08] down from the mountain of transfiguration with Peter James and John you might remember the scene

[00:13:15] that he encountered he returned with those three disciples to find the other nine disciples

[00:13:24] in a heated debate with the religious leaders there had been a man who had a son

[00:13:31] who was demonically possessed or oppressed and he'd brought the boy to the disciples

[00:13:39] so that they could cast out the demon now they had done a measure of this when Jesus had sent them

[00:13:46] out two by two previously but for whatever reason they couldn't cast out this particular demon

[00:13:55] later in the episode when they asked Jesus why he said this kind comes out by prayer and fasting it

[00:14:03] seems that there was a measure of spiritual intensity or investment that was required for them

[00:14:10] to be effective that they just didn't have yet at that period of their lives and Jesus after

[00:14:14] all had come down from the mountaintop where he had spent time in prayer with his father

[00:14:21] he came down in authority but none of those things are what I want to focus on here what I

[00:14:28] want to focus on is the father of this child he rushed to Jesus and he said I brought my son to

[00:14:39] you for he has a spirit that makes him mute and whenever it seizes him it throws him down

[00:14:47] and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid so I asked your disciples to cast it out

[00:14:54] and they were not able and then later when Jesus asked how long this had been happening he said

[00:15:01] from childhood and it is often cast him into the fire and into the water to destroy him but

[00:15:07] if you can do anything have compassion on us and help us Jesus told him that all things

[00:15:14] were possible for one who believed and then the father cried out and said I believe help my unbelief

[00:15:24] what I'm trying to draw out is that you know this dad he brought his kid to Jesus and he just

[00:15:30] said what he needed to say to Jesus the second big thing I wanted to just talk about is not only

[00:15:37] does a super dad delight in his children but he prays for his children he brings his kids

[00:15:44] to the throne of God and intercedes for them and I want to encourage you if you're a father today

[00:15:52] I want to encourage you to regularly pray for your children you know what I found when I'm praying

[00:16:00] for my kids is that there are so often the temporal right now things that I want to lift

[00:16:08] up to God for them you know maybe a friendship that they're struggling with a class that they're

[00:16:16] having difficulty in a loneliness that they're facing some kind of trial that they're going through

[00:16:22] right in this moment but when I linger in prayer for my children I find that I rise

[00:16:31] above some of the immediate concerns going on in their lives and I begin praying for their future

[00:16:39] I begin praying for their spirit I begin praying for the things that are out there in front of them

[00:16:46] in life I know that Christina my wife prays for the future of our kids and so many different ways

[00:16:55] but I think and maybe I'm speaking out a turn here but it seems that her natural inclination is to be

[00:17:03] seeing so well the condition that they're in today and my role is to be thinking about what

[00:17:12] they could become tomorrow so I'm often praying for if they're to be married someday their future

[00:17:19] spouse I'm praying for them to have a revelation of Christ a spiritual epiphany so that Jesus would

[00:17:26] be famous to them but pray for your children and as you're praying for your children make sure that

[00:17:36] you're not only or exclusively praying in the realm that so many modern parents would think are

[00:17:43] important so many modern parents are concerned with education making money being successful

[00:17:52] in life lift up your children's spiritual health their love for God pray for their physical health

[00:18:01] absolutely there are plenty of people in scripture who prayed for the physical health of their

[00:18:07] children and God heard their request heard their prayer but lift up the heart of your children

[00:18:16] as well remember the prayer of David for his son Solomon he said God give my son Solomon a loyal heart

[00:18:27] to keep your commandments and your testimonies and your statutes to do all these things

[00:18:35] first chronicles 29 19 what a great prayer to be praying that your children would have a loyal heart

[00:18:43] unto God one of the great benefits of this as a dad is that when you're praying this way I mean

[00:18:50] just imagine praying this way for a three-year-old you know you're praying that their heart would

[00:18:55] be loyal to God that they'd have a gospel vision that they'd be a Jesus person as I said earlier

[00:19:02] you know there's a version of that at age three there's a version of that at age seven a version

[00:19:07] of that at age 11 but again these are the more malleable years of their lives what we're praying

[00:19:15] for is a full grown version of that when they enter into adulthood and when you're praying that way

[00:19:23] for that day to ultimately come it really helps you in your current present day parenting to

[00:19:29] know I've got a goal the thing that I'm praying for is what I'm actually working for as well so

[00:19:37] I'd encourage you to be a man of prayer lifting up your children to the Lord pray for their future

[00:19:45] spouse pray for their purity pray for their health pray for their friendships pray for them in

[00:19:50] spiritual warfare pray for them in decisions that they need to make and sometimes let them hear

[00:19:58] your prayers as you're crying out to God on their behalf putting them down to sleep at night

[00:20:04] lift them up to the Lord and let them hear what their father is praying for in their lives

[00:20:12] okay number three a great dad teaches his children a great dad teaches his children

[00:20:20] we could lift this from so many places in scripture but I'm going to take it from

[00:20:25] Proverbs chapter 1 verse 8 through 10 there we have a father who is teaching his son he says

[00:20:34] hear my son your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching for they are a

[00:20:40] graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck so he goes on and you know all of

[00:20:47] Proverbs really is a father teaching his child and I love that because what you have are

[00:20:55] doctrinal teachings in Proverbs but also practical teachings in Proverbs the working out of the

[00:21:02] doctrines of scripture in practical form so I'd encourage you to teach your children

[00:21:10] Ephesians 6 verse 4 says that we're to as fathers raise our kids up in the

[00:21:16] training and admonition of the Lord now God as our father he works to teach us doesn't he

[00:21:26] you know his teaching is patient it's over time he uses the events of our lives to instruct us

[00:21:38] and our teaching can be the same way to come alongside of our children to use the events

[00:21:44] of their lives the situations that they're going through to teach and instruct them in the ways of

[00:21:50] the Lord this can be a lesson that is being taught sort of a reduced down classroom kind of environment

[00:22:02] you know as my kids were growing up and little I loved to take a picture Bible and

[00:22:08] teach them the stories of scripture I loved those moments and still love those moments today

[00:22:15] although the Bible no longer has pictures in it in our lessons but what I'm trying to say is

[00:22:22] that's not the only time to teach your kids throughout the day we can be sharing with

[00:22:29] our children the truth of God and his word you know for the people of Israel back in

[00:22:34] Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 6 to 9 God told them the words I command you shall be in your heart

[00:22:43] you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house

[00:22:49] when you walk by the way when you lie down and when you rise up you should bind them on the

[00:22:56] side as a sign on your hand and they shall be as front lets between your eyes you shall

[00:23:01] write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates in other words all throughout the day

[00:23:09] whether they were sitting there in the house or traveling together or going to bed at the end

[00:23:16] of the day or waking up in the morning there were opportunities to retransmit what God had

[00:23:24] transmitted to the parents to the children to hand it down to the next generation and you know

[00:23:32] we can do the same we're not in an ancient israeli culture so when we sit in our house well what

[00:23:40] are we doing we're probably eating meals around the family table we're sitting in the living room

[00:23:49] maybe we're hanging out in the backyard having a bonfire maybe we're sitting in front of the

[00:23:54] television and watching a movie but in those events or after those events how can we talk about and

[00:24:02] incorporate the Lord into those moments we're not walking usually from place to place where

[00:24:09] maybe hopping in the SUV but when we do what an opportunity to be talking about the Lord or

[00:24:17] singing to the Lord when you lie down and what a precious moment that's a time where as your kids

[00:24:25] are going to bed they're ready for a one-on-one word potentially to hear your voice to hear

[00:24:33] your teaching and then to start the day when you rise up you see all throughout the day we

[00:24:39] have opportunities if we take them to teach our children and dads you can be involved in teaching

[00:24:48] your kids your wife if you're married is going to be used by God immensely in this area of life

[00:24:56] but you are called to teach as well to train up to speak into the lives of your kids don't

[00:25:05] leave it all to mom make sure that you are communicating the truth as well now this is great

[00:25:11] because it keeps us pressing in ourselves but all throughout the day be someone who is teaching

[00:25:19] sharing the word with your kids I can always remember sitting at our family computer many

[00:25:26] years ago I was working on the family budget you know had some spreadsheets in front of me

[00:25:31] and some bank websites and one of my kids asked me you know what what are you doing right now

[00:25:37] and so I was able to just you know not give a full on well let me give you a 30 minute bible study

[00:25:44] but I was able to share about the proverbs and how the ant stores up little by little

[00:25:50] and how finances work and what I was doing and trying to be a steward of what God had given

[00:25:56] to us as a family those are that's just one example of teachable moments that God will provide to you

[00:26:07] be sure not to expect anyone else to take care of this responsibility for you this is not something

[00:26:14] that should be farmed out to the church this is not something that can be farmed out to

[00:26:20] the school this is not something that the professionals are called to take care of

[00:26:24] though they might help you and age you and come alongside of you it's inside the home

[00:26:32] that you can be a teacher of your children you you've got to be in the word yourself

[00:26:36] and transmit it to your kids okay the fourth thing I want to talk about is a great dad a

[00:26:44] super dad he protects his children he protects his children proverbs 14 verse 26 says in the fear

[00:26:53] of the Lord one has strong confidence and his children will have a refuge you know God as father

[00:27:02] he is a refuge to us isn't he actually in the process of preparing a sermon on Psalm 11 where

[00:27:12] there was some kind of pressure being brought upon David we don't know precisely what it was

[00:27:18] but we can use our imaginations just knowing everything that he endured at the hands of Saul

[00:27:24] and somebody said to him you need to take matters into your own hands you need to run away you need

[00:27:30] to go find refuge and his answer was God is my refuge I'm going to God he found solace and

[00:27:38] comfort and protection in God as his father that's who God is now as under fathers so to speak under

[00:27:50] the father we want to do the same thing we want to provide refuge protection safety for our kids

[00:27:58] now obviously one place this safety starts is safety from you this is what I was alluding to

[00:28:05] earlier so often kids experience trauma or wrath or anger or neglect from their own fathers how

[00:28:16] damaging but we need to be men who say you're gonna find in me a place of safety a place

[00:28:27] of refuge a place of solace a place of protection a place of comfort you know if you think about

[00:28:35] the world is really not a very safe place for kids there's neglect and abuse and

[00:28:45] molestation and fornication and and rape there are all these dangers that exist for them

[00:28:54] and aside from the more violent or sexual or abusive elements that our kids are at risk of

[00:29:05] encountering we also live in an age where you know there are companies that are just vying for

[00:29:13] their eyeballs and their attention constantly it's just not a safe place for kids but kids are safe

[00:29:24] with a dad who fears God kids are safe with a dad who fears God and I would encourage you

[00:29:35] be involved in protecting your children now I love the story of Philip in the New Testament he

[00:29:42] was one of the first deacons in the church and he had all these daughters who were gifted by the

[00:29:50] spirit they were they had the gift of prophecy and they were morally pure as young women and I think

[00:30:00] that that moral purity had something to do with Philip and his walk with God and his involvement

[00:30:07] in their lives in other words it's not right for a father to take the approach of saying you know it's

[00:30:16] it's not any of my business and and you know they all they have their own lives to live and their

[00:30:22] own desires and their own thoughts and it's it's not in my business I'm just gonna pull back and

[00:30:29] let them do whatever they're going to do now a dad be involved in the lives of your kids

[00:30:39] one thing that I've noticed time and time again with parenting and different families that I've

[00:30:47] been exposed to over the years is that in those first 10 years of a child's life a dad is really

[00:30:55] important absolutely but a lot of times it's mom who is providing and teaching and and offering

[00:31:04] sort of that daily nurturing that early childhood requires there's something that happens when a child

[00:31:13] gets into those preteen and then teenage years where a dad can tell himself you know I was good

[00:31:20] at tickling I was good at pillow fights I was good at building forts and planning family vacations

[00:31:28] and building a fire I was good at all the things that made my kids think I was a genius but now

[00:31:36] they're teenagers now they don't see me in the same way now I need to take a backseat no what I

[00:31:43] want to say to you brothers is that that is a lie from the pit of hell you're actually called to get

[00:31:50] into the front seat get behind the wheel during that period of your children's lives interject yourself

[00:32:00] involve yourself in their lives get to know who their friends are what they're seeing online

[00:32:06] where they're at at all times you know be involved I'm not saying you need to be a super nanny I'm not

[00:32:14] saying you need to you know have our surveillance system I'm not saying you need to be that legalistic

[00:32:20] harsh law over your kids but being involved don't distance yourself involve yourself be engaged in

[00:32:29] there if they start dating be involved and knowing what's happening at sleepovers if you allow

[00:32:36] that be involved in knowing what's on their computers and on their phones do what you can to

[00:32:44] eradicate pornography or the possibility of pornography being a temptation from your family's

[00:32:51] life be engaged in what their social networking looks like be engaged in their sex education

[00:33:00] and know when they're unsupervised at the homes of others that you don't know be involved in their

[00:33:07] lives you can't keep them from all forms of evil but you can provide that protective layer

[00:33:16] in their lives and I would encourage you to do so I've seen a lot of dads who've just kind of

[00:33:21] given up who have just said well my kid has a laptop full internet connection has a tv

[00:33:27] up in their room they close the door I don't know what's going on in there hey man is it your house

[00:33:34] is it your child you know they're not in an age where they can make that kind of decision with

[00:33:40] wisdom and so you need to set up safeties and guards to give them the best possible chance

[00:33:47] for success no matter how much lip they give you okay the next one that I wanted to say

[00:33:54] is that a father not only does he protect his children teach his children pray for his children

[00:33:59] and delight in his children but he disciplines his children he disciplines his children let me read

[00:34:09] a couple of proverbs to you that highlight this theme proverbs 13 verse 24 whoever spares the rod

[00:34:18] hates his son but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him proverbs 19 verse 18 discipline your

[00:34:28] son for there is hope do not set your heart on putting him to death that's a great one for

[00:34:36] parents you might get a little discouraged but have hope in the midst of that discipline and

[00:34:42] finally proverbs 29 verse 17 says discipline your son and he will give you rest he will give you

[00:34:52] delight he will give delight to your heart now of course when it comes to discipline this is

[00:34:59] something that god does for us we're thankful of that Hebrews chapter 12 explains that the

[00:35:06] disciplinary hand of god is actually an evidence of the love of god for our lives if we were not his

[00:35:14] children went then he would not discipline us if we did not belong to him he would not pay attention

[00:35:20] to us in that way but because we're his because he loves us he will chasing us for our good it's

[00:35:29] not judgment from god judgment was taken by jesus in the cross of christ but it's god's disciplinary

[00:35:37] hand he knows what's good for us and he will chasing us as needed now the best discipline

[00:35:48] comes from a dad who is submitted to god's discipline in other words if you are submissive

[00:35:58] to god and god's authority in your life then you have the basic ingredients to give good discipline

[00:36:11] to your own children don't be a self-willed man in other words who can never find a church leader

[00:36:19] to follow can never find a church that's good enough can never find a group to be part of

[00:36:29] who doesn't spend time with the lord in the word or prayer who is recklessly disobedient

[00:36:39] consistently in a portion of his life before god who then tries to bring discipline into the

[00:36:46] lives of your kids it's not through your obedience that you will gain the privilege or right to discipline

[00:36:54] it's just that your discipline is going to go so much better if you are humbly coming under the hand

[00:37:00] of your god before your kids are coming under your disciplinary hand now as you're disciplining

[00:37:09] just a couple of words of wisdom be consistent you know so often as parents discipline is just one

[00:37:17] of the most tiring fatiguing things to do you know so we come up with all these mechanisms you

[00:37:23] know i'm going to count to three uh or i you know if you don't come over here and we resort to threats

[00:37:30] and we stack the threats on top of each other because we don't want to follow through with

[00:37:34] the thing that we said we would do be consistent man do what you say you are going to do it's going

[00:37:42] to cost you a little bit it will be inconvenient but be consistent um and as you're disciplining keep

[00:37:51] that perspective it's not that you're punishing it's that you're disciplining you know that last

[00:37:58] proverb we read Proverbs 29 verse 17 talked about what discipline will do for the parent long term it

[00:38:06] will be bring a blessing to the heart why because a day comes in the life of a person who's been

[00:38:13] trained where the training wheels come off and if you can take the perspective as a parent of

[00:38:20] saying you know the things that i'm doing when my child you know lashes out at another child

[00:38:26] and i have to discipline them um what i'm doing is i'm preparing them for the future where they're

[00:38:33] going to be incredible in the workplace because they're going to know how to deal with interpersonal

[00:38:40] conflict better than most people will because i've offered them training on that subject all throughout

[00:38:48] their childhood if you can have that perspective discipline versus having the perspective of i'm

[00:38:56] going to punish you for what you've done if you can maintain the discipline perspective it will just

[00:39:02] help you in every um opportunity that your children present to you and they will present

[00:39:09] you many opportunities to train them in how to be as a person so discipline your children

[00:39:18] you know and as you're disciplining them one other word of caution is please do not encourage them

[00:39:26] in sin i've seen this a lot in modern times where parents uh i get a little i i don't like the

[00:39:36] phrase my child is my best friend you know my teenager is my best friend sometimes you'll hear it

[00:39:43] maybe like a grown mother talking about her 16 year old daughter we're best friends that's not the goal

[00:39:49] don't be best friends with your child you can be friends later when they're full on adults but

[00:39:53] well they're still under your care uh you've got to speak into their lives you're leading them

[00:40:02] and a lot of times i've seen parents that will actually encourage sinful behavior because they

[00:40:07] want to be friends with their child they want to be accepted by their child listen be secure in

[00:40:14] yourself fathers be confident in who you are in christ know that you're standing before god

[00:40:21] does not rise and fall with your children's opinion of you in that moment believe that

[00:40:27] you are doing the best thing for your kids and move forward don't cave or buckle because you're

[00:40:34] trying to win a popularity contest with a little person uh don't encourage sin

[00:40:43] you know and don't be guilted out of loving discipline there is a way to discipline your

[00:40:48] child consistently gently with love that will lead to their flourishing in the future

[00:40:56] okay the final uh and sixth thing that i think a great dad does uh according to scripture

[00:41:04] and i'm sure there's many more but i'll just say it like this he provides for his children

[00:41:10] he provides for his children in first timothy five verse eight it says if anyone does not

[00:41:17] provide for his relatives or his family and especially for members of his household

[00:41:23] he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever now there is a context that surrounds

[00:41:29] that verse so i don't mean to overemphasize this but there seems to be some precedent here

[00:41:35] that it's important for a dad to provide for his family to provide for his children

[00:41:42] and when paul was closing out his letter to the Corinthians in second Corinthians

[00:41:49] chapter 12 he said i'm ready to come visit you and i will not be a burden for i seek

[00:41:56] not what is yours but you and listen to this he said for children are not obligated to

[00:42:03] save up for their parents but parents for their children in other words in the apostolic mind

[00:42:10] the direction was clear the parent providing for the child not the child providing for the parent

[00:42:18] and i would encourage you brothers you know to provide for your kids and uh this is kind of one

[00:42:24] of those things that it feels a little you know people don't like to talk about this in our

[00:42:30] modern day and age or modern economy works on a if there's a family works on a two income

[00:42:35] you know kind of thing and all of that and so this often gets downplayed and and you know i

[00:42:42] i think it's great for a man and a woman to both earn an income and all of that but in the midst

[00:42:48] of all of that we might downplay the need for a man to provide it for his family and so i'd

[00:42:55] encourage you to avoid laziness to work hard to be sacrificial there's going to be

[00:43:02] toys that you don't get to have because your kids get to have the toys there's going to be

[00:43:07] fashion you don't get to have because your kids need new clothes there's going to be

[00:43:12] trips you don't get to go on because your kids have classes and activities they need to do and so

[00:43:18] be a sacrificial man avoid laziness it's hard to make it make ends meet in this world but

[00:43:25] be sacrificial and get the job done and for those of you who are i just want to say well

[00:43:30] done i mean this is a big part of being a dad that we sometimes don't emphasize at all but praise god

[00:43:38] god our father provides for us we come to him jesus said we can we can pray every single day

[00:43:44] our father in heaven how would be your name your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is

[00:43:48] in heaven give us this day our daily bread our father is a provider for us and how cool for us

[00:43:56] as dads to provide for our kids we might not be able to provide them the most lavish lifestyle or

[00:44:03] the greatest schools or the best fashions or the coolest gadgets but are we taking care of their

[00:44:10] needs let's do it brothers and if you are well done god sees that and i know it can feel like

[00:44:17] a grind but provide for your children so again proverbs 17 verse 6 which we started with the glory

[00:44:26] of children is their fathers let's do what we can to live life backward and think about the kind

[00:44:38] of grandfather we want to be in the years to come even before we have a wife if you're unmarried

[00:44:46] even before that happens in your life be thinking about what kind of man do i want to be when i die

[00:44:53] and what work or steps do i need to take to get to that point as for me i want to have had a

[00:45:01] fruitful life i want to be in a great relationship with all of my kids and potentially grandkids

[00:45:08] and i want them to be thankful to god that he allowed them to have me as their dad so

[00:45:17] for those of you listening around father's day happy father's day for those of you who aren't

[00:45:22] happy belated father's day or early father's day but let's go get it dads and let's be everything

[00:45:28] that god has asked us and called us to be for those of you who listen this far again we're

[00:45:34] on a little summer break have a great summer and lord willing we'll see you back in the fall